[Hunter X Hunter] Teetering on the Brink of Disaster

[Help] What should I do if I slept with someone I shouldn't have? So, I have a childhood friend, a guy I've known for years. I can't remember when our relationship gradually turned into a friends-with-benefits arrangement. My feelings for him have always been complicated. I've always thought of him as family. Later, my boyfriend proposed to me, and that night I slept with my childhood friend. He wasn't around while I was with my boyfriend, but now he's back, and I'm kind of freaking out. Post 001: What should I do about this relationship? Holy crap? Are you building a harem, OP? 002 Confirmed: OP is a manipulative bitch. 003 If you already have a boyfriend, why are you still tangled up with your friend-with-benefits? 004 I really do think of him as family, and I don't even know when we became friends with benefits. He was always by my side when we were kids. And after I moved to the city, he often disappeared. When I first started dating my boyfriend, he'd been gone for almost half a year. 005: What should I do about this relationship? Either way, OP wants to have her cake and eat it too. 006 After seeing nothing but posts insulting her on the forum, she deleted the thread. Yes, this story revolves around Hisoka and Illumi. The heroine hasn't transmigrated, and she doesn't know about the relationship between Illumi and Hisoka! Also, Hisoka doesn't come back while the heroine is pursuing Illumi.