Looks Alone Are Bound to Do the Trick

"Your Majesty!" A shrill cry assaulted my ears. "Your Majesty! It's not like that!" The sorrowful voice was full of incredulous shock. I pondered for a moment, putting together the plot of this scene. This was the part where my beloved concubine, the heroine, was secretly meeting the prime minister, only to be caught by the general, who had come to meet her in secret as well. The three of them, tangled in love and resentment, argued until I happened upon them. According to the original story, the heroine was supposed to be panicking and terrified just like she was now, desperately explaining herself at the top of her lungs. Though I had no idea what sort of misunderstanding there could be when they'd already been in bed together, performing the acts of love, I was determined to follow the original story to the end. I had to believe her explanation. I'd spent days rehearsing for this scene, so I could give my best reaction and act opposite the heroine. The heroine's reaction was indeed excellent, and she delivered every line perfectly, just as described in the original. I was deeply gratified. All that line practice had paid off, and my acting was spot-on! Lying in bed, I nodded and sincerely felt that if I weren't lying there, with the prime minister on my right and the general on my left, I would have been even more gratified. I had a bit of a headache. Monologue: I am the most famous emperor in the history of Great Xia, from its founding to the present day. I'm famous not because I'm an empress, but because I'm incompetent and have a lesbian persona... The lesbian persona is the important part. To be clear, the emperor is not adored by everyone. The male leads of the heroine will not all fall in love with her. This is an old story I've revisited and revised.