Reeds in the Deep

After reading it, rate it!ヽ(??▽?)ノ Oh, it's really not cruel at all... But I won't listen if you say it's candy! I don't listen, I don't listen! [Run away] The last one is just like returning to the beginning after old age and death. I just understand it and don't accept other explanations!

After reading the comments above, they are simply superior. No wonder you initially said you wanted to discuss writing skills with me. Unfortunately, I am really not a suitable candidate. This girl is very suitable. I'll just say a few words, because I don't agree with everything she said. Maybe she was thinking more from the author's point of view and talked about a lot of issues about the layering of the work. What she said was correct. However, as a reader, you may have different feelings. Reading fandom is just for fun, at least that's the case for me. There's nothing wrong with paying attention to CP. It's true that this way of writing makes the writing shallow, but to be honest, how deep should the fan fiction be written? Not only fan fiction, but also those original Danmei can grasp the rhythm and structure of the story well? It's not that the author's writing skills are good, but it's a pity that most readers of fan fiction only want to read a love story, and a love story with a love story as its fundamental purpose can only be superficial, and there is nothing wrong with that. If you really want to write the novel she said, you can't have a love mindset.

The character design is okay, but the writing is poor, and the plot and nodes are also somewhat new. The remaining problems are common mistakes in CP writing. Just overcome them slowly.

Don't tell the truth, don't tell the truth, don't tell the truth. Say important things three times Even if you are a spin-off of the main drama, don't use a dry narrative background. Forget it, I'm sorry that your writing style is originally a short prose novel. But this is a boring feeling of plagiarizing official history. Secondly, it is a fatal weakness. In many places, a few sentences describing the past directly lead to the original dialogue conflicts and plot conflicts passing by like a trickle. Many places worthy of writing are as peaceful as sleeping, and the focus is entirely on the things between two people. So you say it's official history, but it's not sensational, and you don't mean to fall in love, are you kidding me? Where is your foreshadowing, your cat ate it, and only the first chapter is left in the can of cat food? I don't know where the rest of this deep feeling comes from, or rather it makes people feel like they don't know where it comes from. Why is your description not powerful enough? As for the official history, please don't be obsessed with love. I'm willing to die for you. I'm so touched that you've died so many times. It's all done in one step... Well, it's great. Anything that fails to impress people's hearts and catch people's attention in the first place needs reflection. It's not a matter of style of wording or sentence building, it's purely a matter of your habits. Be more strict with yourself and don't be so lazy. This is a fan work, not a work of art. The first important thing for fans to see is that it looks good.

Do you know the battle scenes in official history, siege, pursuit, defense, ambush, etc., The whole process The problem of perspective transition, the battlefield is very messy from the perspective of soldiers, but a general is in charge of everything. You write that he is a commander, a general, not a soldier, so it is not so confusing. If you can write a battle well, the rest can be written in one stroke. If you don't write a single scene and only write a few small scenes, it will be clever but lack the support of content and will inevitably be boring.

You wrote those small scenes and conversations between one or two people very well. But there are many big scenes and conflicts that you can describe in just a few sentences. In terms of details, although this is indeed possible, it will inevitably feel bland.

The setting and writing are very good The problem of not being attractive enough On the one hand, the writing is too prose, which makes it easy and hassle-free. However, many conflict-based and relatively large scenes will seem boring after being avoided. This point is unavoidable in most fan fiction. On the other hand, the emotional description is a little slow and flat. Human emotions are like this, but the description and angle still require some skills...

The writing is good, and it is relatively close to the official history, but it is not lively enough. He's being serious, but he's also making witty remarks It's not serious, but it's true that the description and characterization are a bit shallow, and it's more like a notepad than a character.

Why can't I post a comment? . .