A Hundred Ways to Die

~﹡~﹡~﹡~﹡~﹡~﹡~﹡~[Cute Blurb One]~﹡~﹡~﹡~﹡~﹡~﹡~﹡~

The shopkeeper's blurb:

I don't know where I came from. I take all kinds of cases, paranormal ones, you know.

Can you hear the mermaids sing?

Can you see the tiny dwarves?

Have you eaten a witch's apple?

They all live around us, doing things we know nothing about. They live by their obsessions, and in the end, they have to follow those obsessions to the very end.

I used to think I was the same, but then I understood. I'm no fairy tale. I think I'm in love with him.

~﹡~﹡~﹡~﹡~﹡~﹡~﹡~[Blurb Two, My Bestie Made Fun of It]~﹡~﹡~﹡~﹡~﹡~﹡~﹡~

Shen Li's blurb:

There's someone I like. He lives in the coffee shop downstairs. He's very handsome, and likes to lean back on the shop's sofa and read. His long fingers gently hold a fork as he cuts into a delicious cake. But the more I like him, the more I notice some strange things.

The shopkeeper never ages.

The shopkeeper is face-blind.

The shopkeeper likes reading detective novels.

Most importantly, it seems like no one has ever remembered him.

I silently pray that none of this is a fairy tale, because I'm in love with him.

After finishing a mission, Fang Ju brought back a strange little creature from the genetics research department.

It was ugly as a baby, but grew to look a little like a bear, with black-and-white fur, fluffy ears, huge dark circles around its eyes, and a chubby face. Fang Ju thought he'd found the world's cutest little creature.

But gradually, he realized it was kind of gross. It peed wherever it pleased, picked its nose with its big paws, shoved its feet into its mouth, and sneaked glances at him when it had nothing else to do. And yet it was still ridiculously cute. Seriously, this thing needed to be put on medication.

Be good, sweetheart... Don't toss your cat food bowl around.

Be good, sweetheart... Stop playing with the water gun. You're going to drown me!

Be good, sweetheart... You can reach the last box in the fridge. There's something tasty inside, so don't go hungry.

Be good, sweetheart... If I suddenly disappear, it just means we're playing hide-and-seek, so don't be sad.

My darling, I would give you all the tenderness in my life., Fang Ju

This is a story about a man who lives on the edge, gradually healed by a little black-and-white cutie. It's about how I love you and you love me, and how I don't want to stay home and live an ordinary life. I want to roam the world with you.

One-line summary: Sweetheart across the way, look this way.

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