On Being Transmigrated into Dong Zhuo

Dong Zhuo is not Dong Zhuo, even though his dad is always quoting the classics to teach him not to follow in the footsteps of their ancestor, Dong Zhuo.

Dong Zhuo? Oh, yeah! Dong Zhuo knows about him! Isn't he that fat guy who was used as a candle for three days and nights?

Damn it, then why the hell did I have to transmigrate into him?

Dong Zhuo was close to tears inside.

Fine. Since I'm here, I might as well make the most of it! Supporting the Han dynasty and upholding the rightful line isn't something only Liu Bei can do!

There's still a chance to clear my name!

Bonus scene:

Dong Zhuo summoned a young eunuch beside him and pointed at the emperor on the swing. “Don't you think... His Majesty seems to have grown?”

The young eunuch hesitated, then answered nervously, “Prime Minister, do you mean... wider or taller?”

“...” Dong Zhuo said, “Both.”

“His Majesty does seem... to have grown a little,” the young eunuch said cautiously.

Bonus scene:

“Prime Minister, His Majesty says he hasn't had enough to eat.”

“The imperial kitchen.”

“Prime Minister, His Majesty says he hasn't had enough to eat.”

“I said, the imperial kitchen!”

“Prime Minister, His Majesty says he... didn't get enough to eat last night.”

“...Damn it, tell him to go die! His wings have gotten strong, and now he's acting all grown up!”

“Yes, sir.”

“...”

Please try to treat this as an alternate-history story. The author is terrible at history, so trolls, go easy. Laundry is a pain.

Emperor Xian of Han is three years older here than he was in real history. Dong Zhuo's birth date is unknown, but he probably wasn't too young, so he's eight years older. Yep, that's how it is.

Emmmm, I wrote this when I was sixteen, and the blurb and the actual story are wildly different.

Hhhhh, I still love a good punchline.

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