How to Stop Being Pathetic

Chen Chen is a "bitch." In college, she fell for a seemingly aloof, handsome, taciturn senior and shamelessly groveled at his feet for years. Even when he hit middle age, grew fat and greasy, and couldn't find a partner at 32, leaving him unwanted on the dating scene, she kept fawning over him. And still, she couldn't win him over. She despised herself and him, yet kept playing an excruciating game of push and pull with him. Then, savoring every moment, she sighed, "Shit really does taste good!" She gave the man she liked the elegant nickname "Dog Shit." She liked stirring shit up, and insisted that her love for Dog Shit was as enduring as rock. He might not give her much pleasure, but she needed that little bit. The "pleasure" Dog Shit gave Chen Chen was that whenever he happened to think of her, he would ask, "How have you been lately?" Once she said she was fine, he would start complaining about how miserable he was because he couldn't find a partner. She never tired of reassuring him: "There's still me, isn't there? You still won't try liking me?" After years of torment, she no longer expected or hoped for a different answer. She asked out of habit. But this time, her habitual question got this reply: "Heh, you're a good person. Good people get good things in return. You'll be happy." He would rather turn to Buddhism to clear his karmic burdens than choose her. She accepted that too, and even earnestly joined him in copying Buddhist scriptures. They say that when you love someone, you become humble, lowering yourself until you're as low as dust, yet your heart is full of joy, and flowers bloom from the dust. Chen Chen really did sink to the dust, but she wasn't "humble." She was pathetic! And she wasn't that "joyful" either. She had spent nine years suppressing a bellyful of spite and resentment. She was of two minds! She said all the right things out loud while secretly drawing turtles in her heart. Until one day, Dog Shit announced his relationship on social media! Theme: People who don't bring disaster on themselves won't die, but you have to bring it on yourself. Once you've done enough, learn when to stop and when to let go.