[Online Game] Homeland

In order to encourage the author to write a review. . The author does not need to think that this article is black history. For an article about science fiction online games, I personally feel that the performance is very good▼ω▼ Because I love online game articles very much. It can be said that I have swept away the Danmei online games a long time ago. . This article handles the story framework well, the plot is also advanced all the way, and the fighting scenes are great ~ it has a sense of graphics! Personally, I don't think there's anything wrong with getting to the point right away at the beginning. Once you're used to online game stories, you can quickly accept the settings. In fact, it was this innovative setting that jumped out at me from the beginning. . It's just that the ending is a little rushed, but the story pace in the early and middle stages is really not sluggish! ! It would be no problem to write another fifty chapters with such a broad background. . Judging from the current word count, the villain came out a little late, and the supporting characters are not outstanding enough. The big shortcoming is still the emotional scene →_→ The contrast between Troy and Troy is a bit big. . In reality, the two of them progressed too quickly. . However, considering the results of this article. . Ahem. . I can understand the author's desire to write a new article. . Recently, online game writing has fallen into a low ebb again. . In fact, you can try adding the word "holographic" to the title. . Absolute attraction bonus. I hope to keep up the good work~ I can try writing online games again if I have new ideas in the future~

Time flies and I don't know how long I have been following this article. Well... Let me share some of my immature thoughts and suggestions~ ①Initially In fact, when I first read this article, I felt it was a bit confusing. I felt that I got to the point right from the beginning, without any foreshadowing. Indeed, as @Miss Nineteen said: "Game blind people can't understand it." In fact, you can add settings to the article bit by bit [It's best to add some time, place, etc. At the beginning of the article, concisely It's clear and it won't look so cluttered (it can actually give people the illusion of affectionate reading). You can also point out some settings, such as "2XXX year, XX galaxy XX planet" etc.], You can also add a chapter preface at the beginning, write some settings and so on, and then mark it on the content summary so that everyone can decide whether they want to read it or not. In fact, I think many people read the first few chapters and left if they couldn't continue. Because I also felt that I was confused at first, and I wanted to abandon the article many times. I once [Don't hit me QAQ]. In fact, Nineteen can be briefly summarized in what the author has to say [if someone complains that they don't understand it], or it can be expressed in a small theater in an alternative way. If the main text of psychological activities cannot be added, it can also be shown in the small theater. For example, an interview or something like this: Author: Can I ask you how you feel about being misunderstood? Protagonist: It doesn't matter. Author:… Trojan (not yet appeared): ... [Heart: Isn't this the beginning of our fate~~o(>_<)o ~~] This is a small theater based on the first chapter. [Actually, what am I talking about? It's cloudy and foggy] ②Medium range In fact, why did I persist? First of all, this is indeed a good article, a rare good article, with complicated settings and a good writing style [I mentioned it in my last long review, so I won't go into details]. Although it may be a bit tiring to read [it was true in the early stages], although Miss Yue'er's comment seems to be the product of reading the article in a hurry, it still makes some sense. Although the writing style did not change in the later period, Nineteen's narrative ability became better and better, the context of the entire article became much clearer, and there were gradually more psychological descriptions. However, it may be because the psychological description of the two protagonists in the mid-1990s was not enough [especially Trojan Horse]. Although their characters were designed, they were still a bit vague and did not have much reflection. It wasn't until later on when they were somewhat ambiguous that Trojan's psychological description gradually became more detailed, but I don't think this helped much in shaping his character. In fact, to be honest, this article is no longer 80% online games, but 95% or more are online games. The description is really too little. Although the label of this article is online games, online games also need reality to set off... In fact, I feel that the background of this article is quite deep, but it is not spread out in many places, so it looks a bit timid and pitiful. Just like Mr. Waste is an adventurer, but you should write more about those adventures in the past. In fact, it really is the special skill of water. It doesn't feel abrupt but there is no development. It can obviously have so much content. Maybe it is not impossible to extend this article several times. For example, what century is this article from? It seems that I don't have any sense of involvement because I mentioned too little. Some settings feel meaningless, because they are not mentioned, such as the prison star and so on, and the purpose of it is never introduced in such detail [any details]! There are still so many foreshadowings and you just finish it for me. How many chapters are there about reality? Even if you can't compile it in the text, you can actually write more about reality to make up for it. In fact, from the setting point of view, Nineteen is very rigorous and complicated, so you can consider writing a long novel. It is best not to have so many unexpanded plots like this article. It is like cramming a strong child into a small space, which feels a bit pitiful and weak. Therefore, when writing out some settings, you can think about where they may appear later, open a separate document or put them together with the outline, and look at them frequently. You can also delete, add and modify some. Don't pay too much attention to some that are less important. In fact, in general, [I think] the reason why Nineteen's article is so cold is that on the one hand, there is indeed a lack of plot processing in the early stage, which easily loses some readers; on the other hand, the angle chosen is a bit unconventional, as if they are all online game articles, but Nineteen's online games are more special and have more descriptions. Of course, you don't need to change too much in this aspect. Maybe one day you will create a new genre of [Passionate]! Of course, some readers may not adapt to the language style, but I believe that those of us who stay will love it! ③Finally At the end, it's so blinding to waste a husband's show of affection. Especially the psychological descriptions feel very shameful. Of course, this is because I have always been like this. Every time I see them, I am so excited that I want to run two laps [of course I do run^_^]. But it's so loving. Even though it's clear water, I think it's good. In fact, the lack of meat is not a problem for me. And Nineteen said thank you to me. In fact, I also thank Nineteen very much. In fact, when I read the article, I was really just a spectator and rarely left messages. Although I'm a little embarrassed to say this, the first time I left a message was not because Nineteen's writing style was so good that I was immediately impressed by it. It was because the article was cold. It was too cold. It was obvious that Nineteen had persisted for about thirty chapters, but people were really There are so few that I can't bear it. In fact, I think the same is true for other articles. As long as the author insists on writing articles but his popularity is still sluggish, I will want to encourage him. However, I think it would be a pity to let a good writer who is very likely to be a good writer in the future die because he was not favored by others in the early stage. In addition, the writing style of Nineteen is very attractive to me. Of course, the image of a wasteful adult is also one of the factors that attracts me. Later, I witnessed the changes in the 19th century step by step. In fact, it was like watching the neighbor's fruit tree slowly grow and bloom and bear fruit. Although it was not mine, I was equally happy. I am a reader, but I can guess the author's intention and difficulty in writing an article. I saw Nineteen's copywriting on Western Fantasy saying that this article is a black history, but in fact, each of us has a black history, right? It is precisely because of the dark history that we can progress and grow more. The mistakes of the past will lead to our success tomorrow. Regardless of whether it is dark history or not, I really like this article. I hope you work hard on your Western Fantasy article, and I will continue to support it! Congratulations on the completion! PS: I finally finished typing, I typed it with a writing pad, it must be a thousand words ~ This is a long review ~ Anyway, I will continue to support you, come on!

Mo Li is still young at 18 years old.

What about Yi Xingzhi? What is the relationship between kl and the planet developed by Fei Yuan? Why does Boss Bai want to get the invitation letter? There are a lot of fans

Finished reading it in one sitting. . Awesome. . . ↖(^ω^)↗

I read it without missing a chapter, and I thought it was very good. But is this really a good ending? Hope there is a second part

Very good! The author has great ideas, aura, and diligence. His writing style, story rhythm, and structure can all be improved. Interesting stories and characters are only rewarded by God! Of course, that doesn't mean that these three things are not important. You need to practice more, come on! =3=

It took me one night to read the whole thing... I feel like I discovered it too late 0rz...

When I saw the ending, I always thought that the two of them would continue to have adventures, but I didn't expect that they would even lose their bodies (╯‵□′)╯┻━┻The second part of The Wall Cracked!!! The science fiction setting is very interesting!!! It can be seen that the author has his own creativity, but the background is not complete enough~ The ending of a bunch of steel wires and a bunch of arrows is really not bad←_←

I was so touched when I saw Nineteen mentioning me! Woohoo, woohoo, I love you too! Talking about new articles, Nineteen doesn't seem to be a person who can follow the fairy tale style. After all, he is the style. [In fact, I almost became a Crazy Horse, you know?] ~ I'll give you a long review on the next one! Come on, Nineteen~