The Phoenix Overlooks the Western Moon

The most bloody plot in history

Don't like the heroine being half-hearted

Support Feng, all your questions have his name

After reading the author's article, I can't help but want to mention a few points. Ahem, let me say it first. The following points are purely personal opinions. If anything is wrong, feel free to ignore it. Regarding the copywriting, I don't have a big problem. It's just that the last two paragraphs seem to be cut off from the main text. They are meaningless and do not reflect the center of the article and provide no clues to the plot. It always feels a bit redundant. Judging from the overall structure of the article, the author's writing style is smooth, with ancient charm, novel ideas, and unconventional. Because it writes about things between countries, the setting is quite grand. However, the perspective focuses too much on the heroine's psychological monologue, which really narrows the field of vision. The setting is atmospheric, but the writing is not atmospheric enough. In terms of content, there are no surprises, and the mainstream is following the normal route. However, the character description is not clear. First of all, the author is too stingy in describing the characters' appearance. For example, Mr. Ling, who appeared in the previous chapters, my impression of him is only that "he looks like Qianxi, but he is not Qianxi." But what does he actually look like? What kind of character is it? Monster type? Tender? Or a sinister one? I really couldn't figure it out for a long time. The article mentioned that Mr. Ling brought invisible pressure to the heroine, but I also said that I did not feel it. Not only this one, but also other people's appearance descriptions are too little. Sometimes appearance can also reflect a person's external temperament and even personality. Here, I would like to express that I cannot imagine their appearance and character traits. Secondly, the description of the characters' expressions is not adequate. Sometimes we don't understand their facial expressions when they say a certain sentence, whether they are happy, embarrassed, or plain. Furthermore, although it is written in the first person, there are too many inner monologues of the heroine, and most of the sentences state the questions and thoughts in the heroine's heart. For example, she overheard a conversation between Mu Ziyan and Brother Ying about the fall of the Western Qin Dynasty outside the door. … I always feel that the psychological description is not detailed enough, with too many questions and too few scares. We believe that when hearing such explosive news, one should be more shocked than confused. The second point is that when Feng Qingye threatened Mu Ziyan with the heroine, Mu Ziyan would rather give up her life than reveal the whereabouts of the princess. Then, I didn't see the heroine's heartbroken expression or expression towards Mu Ziyan. She still had too many monologues in her heart. She was just laughing at herself, but in action she was a fool. Also, the author's scene transitions are too blurry. Suddenly a shot changed, but what kind of shot was it? By the lake? Market? Patio? Or the suburbs? There is no clear description of the environment, the artistic conception cannot be expressed, and it is impossible to imagine the time and place where this sentence happened. As for the plot, I will naturally not jump to conclusions. You know the whole process. I only know what I see in front of me. There are too many personal opinions in it. If it is wrong, I am afraid it will affect the author's subsequent plot development, not to mention that the article has been written for such a long time and is almost completed. I can only mention the framework, settings and characters of the author. However, in this regard, I can only say that these plots are not vulgar and not bloody. (Then let me reveal that we actually like Feng Qingye better. ~\\(≥▽≤)/~ La la la) In fact, the problem with the whole article is not that big. The writing style is excellent and the article is full of classical atmosphere. However, you must pay more attention to the detailed description, such as the description of the character's appearance and demeanor. Try to reduce the heroine's inner monologue as much as possible. In addition, you must also add some description of the environment appropriately. Of course, only an appropriate amount of detail is needed to describe the artistic conception of some good pictures. But not too much, which makes it boring. That's it, done. I hope the author has fun writing the article and can make greater progress. [Yuanfang, what do you think_Long Comment Wenpu: Qing Sui]

I support Feng Qingye. The female protagonist should be more focused. I feel like the male protagonist needs to be changed. Maybe I have a preconceived idea, so don't change.

Is this making noise about Beijing?!!

By the way, the author is very talented and the writing is very inspiring. I like it very much!!! I can see that you put a lot of effort into writing, thank you!

I found the following plot to be very interesting. I personally feel that the reason why this article is cold is that the first few chapters are too bland, which has lost a lot of readers. However, upon closer inspection, the writing is really good, and the writing style is also very good. I suggest you start reading it from the second volume. The second volume has a lot of delicate emotional descriptions. I give you a thumbs up!!

There are a lot of classical Chinese articles@_@, but some of the author's views are quite reasonable... Let's spread the flowers to encourage more updates~~

Author, please update!! Sprinkle flowers~≧▽≦)/~