(APH) Brother Yao, Please Tease Me Without Holding Back!

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(-ι_- ) It is estimated that it is impossible to change

The girl's article is quite short, so I read it in one sitting. The following is Miss Yang's request. The following is Qingtian's own thoughts after reading it. Jiujiu's character reminds me of Lin Daiyu, who is outspoken and sincere. Although you focus on describing Jiujiu's inner activities, the words always reveal your desire to protect and defend your love, just like Daiyu's nervousness and panic when she saw Bao and Chai together. The girl describes Jiujiu's feelings about brother Yao very well, but the description of brother Yao is indeed a bit off. Or, girl, the arrangement of your writing is originally designed to highlight the character of Jiujiu, not other characters? Your copywriting is worthy of recognition. At first glance, it feels very refreshing and makes you want to read further. In fact, Brother Yao is a sultry man. Looking at his inner monologue in the back episode, I think his life after drinking must be happy. But the biggest shortcoming is still in the article. It is said that the first three chapters are the most important and key chapters that catch the readers' attention, but girl, your first three chapters are a bit bland. There are so many people appearing at the beginning and the relationships between the characters are confusing. This will make some readers who are looking for the center and the main line lose their patience and read on. Most people who read online articles read it on their computers and mobile phones. In fact, there is no good beginning and few readers are willing to keep reading, so the first few chapters still need to be improved. There is almost a small dialogue caption at the beginning of each chapter. This is a highlight. It allows the reader to know at a glance what the chapter is about, and it can also arouse the reader's interest. But this is only part of it, the most important thing is the content of your writing. I have not read the original work, so some of the relationships between the characters are a bit unclear, but as far as my first impression after reading it is concerned, Brother Ju actually does not play a big role when he appears. If you really want to bring him out, you can actually write a longer article to explain clearly what kind of relationship they have. There is really not enough information in a short article of 1,000 words, so it is more necessary to streamline it and condense the essence, otherwise it will feel like an extra article to another article. Furthermore, there are still some sentences in the article that still need to be revised, and there are also some typos. These are all things that should be paid attention to when writing. ["Sister Daimao, Zhaiju..." I'm not done yet. The doorbell rang again. Does Brother Zhaiju have to be the last one? There must be three black lines on the top of my head. Open the door resignedly. "Eh? Brother..." Wow, I didn't expect it to be the eldest brother, so I missed an opportunity to eat tofu. There are some passages like this in the article, and the dialogue feels a bit stiff. In fact, this can be easily corrected. As long as you add some descriptions of the characters' appearance, actions, and demeanor in the middle of these sentences, the dialogue will become more vivid and vivid. Also note that the dialogue between the characters is best not to be interrupted and only filled with dialogue without other notes about who said it or their expressions. This will make the reading feel like a foreign masterpiece translated into Chinese, and it will be very awkward to read. Overall, it's pretty good. Because I'm writing a review, I read some of it with a review in mind. The cover is also very cute 0v0! You can still write better with more improvements. The above is purely my personal opinion. Floating light and gold

You should choose 2, right? Come on 0u0