The Countess De Laferr's Revenge

The Three Musketeers fanfic? First love / my earliest fantasies... Discussion results, June 25, 2013 Everyone surely knows that the author is a lazy, greedy good-for-nothing. The day before yesterday, I happened to talk with someone about Alexandre Dumas, and I also watched the latest Musketeers movie. Seeing it apart from the original and picking a better-looking queen would raise my rating. It confirmed some of my ideas, and also gave me inspiration in a few areas. Putting aside children's books like Grimm's Fairy Tales, The Three Musketeers was the first Western classic I ever read (the Yilin edition, translated by Luo Guolin and Wang Xuewen). I was... never mind, I don't remember. I was probably in the lower grades of primary school at most. I was completely engrossed in it and finished it in three days. All I needed for an afternoon of reading was a big glass of water within reach. After that, I read that fine book until it was worn out... When I started having romantic daydreams, Athos naturally became my ideal type. Well, obviously! What kind of Mary Sue, utterly unhinged girl with a warped sense of right and wrong could possibly fail to love such a universally adored, handsome, talented nobleman, a former lord who excelled at both fighting and scholarship? All right, normal girls who swooned over him, with their dreams and fantasies soaring and their passion and nosebleeds running side by side, you still have Twenty Years After and The Vicomte of Bragelonne waiting to make you cry until your hearts are as deep as the sea and your tears fill it. Heh heh heh. Don't say the author never warned you! Ahem. Anyway, this is the author's lingering regret. I've decided to write a BE that isn't quite so tragic, to mourn the hero in my heart. 1. The title alone makes it clear: 1) who the main character is; 2) the author is a Mary Sue writer who loves original characters; 3) the author intends to make this as heartbreaking as possible, without being too depressing or too indulgent. 2. The author dislikes one-dimensional characters. The author just loves inner conflict. 3. The author is a feminist, even though the author is obsessed with romantic tales of knights. 4. The author was born with a low IQ and never worked hard to improve it. Anything too complicated is bound to turn into a mess or bring the writing to a standstill. 5. The author is determined to be a stickler for historical accuracy, but the original let the author down. Even the currency system and timeline are inconsistent from one part to another. 6. The author will try to write Mary Sue and melodrama while respecting common sense, and to share a bit of history while writing Mary Sue and melodrama. (Don't believe me.) I'll continue after a nap 7. This is already the fastest the author has ever updated, okay?! If you don't believe me, go look at the author's other abandoned stories. 8. If the author manages to write one chapter in a month that she's satisfied with, she's definitely already coughed up blood. 9. The author has an incurable condition where English dialogue runs through her head whenever she writes foreigners, and another incurable condition where she tortures whoever she loves and makes them torture themselves. The author also loves looking back at what she's written, tearing it apart, and rebuilding it from scratch. 10. What is an outline? Can you eat it? If it were edible, the author would have eaten it already, okay!