Naruto: The Uncle of Naruto

Scene One: "Ahahahaha! I'm finally ascending! I'm a genius, just as I thought! Dongfang Chen, you old bastard, I'm so much stronger than you! Hahaha!" On the only cliff in a vast wilderness, a young man in white laughed up at the sky, his robes snapping in the wind. The visible spatial vortex spinning rapidly overhead revealed his identity: an immortal who had survived the tribulation and was about to ascend to the Immortal Realm. Scene Two: "Brother-in-law!" Lei called lazily. "Huh?" Minato Namikaze stared at Lei, looking a little dazed. "What are you doing?!" Kushina walked over to Lei with a blush and tapped him on the forehead. Scene Three: As soon as the Nine-Tails appeared, the village gate was lit by a red glow. The Nine-Tails looked around and roared angrily, "Who let me out? You woke me up! Get out here!" "Who the hell woke me up? If you don't come out, I'll find you myself!" The Nine-Tails had a terrible temper when woken up. Flames surged several meters higher from its body, scorching the surrounding trees and houses. Some unidentified person said, "Boss, have you changed your mind and decided to fight the Nine-Tails?" Lei rolled his eyes. "It's just a little fire fox. Why would I need to get involved?!" The unidentified person muttered, "You're the only one who calls the Nine-Tails a little fire fox!" "What was that?" Lei picked at his ear. The unidentified person waved his hands and hurriedly said, "I just meant that a little fire fox like this really doesn't need you to get involved!" Scene Four: "He's just a nobody. You probably don't know him. But he's one of my people." Lei looked around, then stopped in front of a shop called Dragon Gate Inn. Jiraiya, standing nearby, drawled, "One of your people? Oh~" Lei wasn't about to fall for that trick. He quickly leaned closer and said suggestively, "That's right! Didn't you know, Senior Brother? I actually like men! I've always felt that you and I really click, and I bet we're the same in that regard!" He looked at Jiraiya as if to say, "You should have figured it out ages ago." Jiraiya looked as if he'd bitten his tongue. He glanced around, then smiled warmly at Lei. "Junior Brother, are we staying at Dragon Gate Inn? The inn has a famous reputation. You certainly have a good eye!" With that, he walked straight inside. Lei snickered to himself and followed. Scene Five: "Bang, bang, bang!" Naruto came running over. Seeing the Third Hokage and the others, he shouted, "Huh? Why is Grandpa Third here with someone who can't show his face? Oh? And there's a sick big brother in bed. Could it be... forbidden lo..." The Third Hokage clapped a hand over Naruto's mouth before he could say the words "Brokeback Mountain," but even so, the faces of the Third Hokage and Kakashi had already turned green. They glanced at Lei. 'Are they related by blood?' (I originally posted this on a certain site, but then I lost my password... This wasn't supposed to be BL, by the way. Later, since I couldn't think of a pairing, and the story might have quite a lot of BL, it may end up with no pairing.)