Harry Potter Fanfiction: Everything Is but a Fleeting Cloud

That's just how miserable it is to have a disaster magnet constitution!

Choke while drinking water, gag while eating, trip while walking, miss a step on the stairs.

Mark one answer too far over on an exam sheet and get a zero.

Go shopping and get hit by a store sign.

Bring in the laundry just as the upstairs neighbor happens to dump water down.

Hop online out of boredom and the monitor burns out.

Come home on a scorching hot day, hoping to turn on the AC, only to find that my apartment is the only one in the whole building with no power.

Want to take a hot bath in the dead of winter, only to find the water heater's broken.

Every so often, I inexplicably lose my keys, wallet, or ID.

Even going to the bathroom, I manage to drop my phone in.

Buy a potted plant, wake up the next day, and find it dead.

My pet dog goes out to play and never comes back.

Go to the bank to withdraw my living expenses and, in the most ridiculous turn of events, run into robbers and get taken hostage.

Sometimes I finally grit my teeth and splurge on a fancy restaurant to treat my stomach, only to end up with food poisoning.

Even worse, I discovered that the young man next door, whom I'd known for a long time and almost had mutual feelings for, was arrested and sent to prison. Only then did I learn he was a deranged psychopath who liked to rape and murder single women. Even more tragic, I was supposed to be his next target, though he hadn't gotten around to me yet.

Go on a trip and, by sheer chance, run into an earthquake, a flood, or a landslide.

Ahahahahaha, I'm used to it by now. It's just like dying eighty years early. A life this screwed up might as well just end already = =|||