Egg White, You Can't Hurt Me (Gintama Parody)

In a nutshell: The story of Hijikata the Wolf and the daughter he raises [Hidden]Hey! That's not her name at all! And why is she his daughter?! Hijikata is obviously a man, so why has he become a mom?! You're making me sad, don't do this, aaaaaah! Besides, Protein-chan and Hijikata aren't mother and daughter in the first place, aaaaaah! -- Sorry, my ranting has made me hoarse [Hey[/Hidden] Qianchuan Bai is a mix of fujoshi, otaku, and dark humor. I've settled on the male lead and won't change my mind unless something happens that makes me abandon the story. I'm still working on my snarking skills, so keep this in mind: this is a test plot. If a character ever goes out of character, or the snark isn't up to par, please leave a comment and let me know. I ask that you be gentle with your criticism. You should know that the author is in an extremely unsettled state right now, and writing is hard work. At least people who criticize have shared their opinions, while those who read without commenting simply ignore the author's hard work, don't they? Just like the title says: I can't take it. Everyone has a day when they just can't take it. Recommended: A World Only Known to Lunatics (Gintama Piji) Old blurb: Some Bai: Is it really okay to write the title like this? Someone might read it as Huaji, and then it really would be ridiculous. Hijikata: Huh? Stupid Bai, why are you still here? Didn't I tell you to hurry up and get back to your Protein-chan planet?! Okita: Mr. Hijikata, you just look down on Protein-chan, don't you? Just like I look down on you. Some Bai: If you keep arguing, that idiot Sakura who's still agonizing over the heroine's name while writing the outline really will delete Huaji! ...No, I mean Biji. Ah, whatever it is, it's definitely going to get overturned, and the pairing will become Hijikata-all! ...No! Hijikata-all with Hijikata as the top. Hijikata-chan as the top is impossible! Absolutely impossible! Kondo: Don't worry, Bai! Stupid Sakura's favorite pairings are obviously HijiGin and OkiKagu! How could she change her mind so easily?! ...Oh, and there's me and Miss Otae, of course. That's a sure thing! Hijikata: Forget Kondo, what did you just say about me?! Be careful, or I'll crack your skull open and see what's inside! I'll make you regret it, I swear! Some Bai: Oh my! Hijikata, how can you be so cruel to a lady? You already gave in to me! Why isn't it Hijikata-all?! Hijikata: ...Right, I've decided. I'm going to smash your head open and see what's inside... Yeah, that's what I'll do! So, Captain, did you have to make the column section, promo section, and cover all so unbearably cute? I love them so much! >////// Theme: