Contemporaries' Self-Rescue System

Updates every other day when not featured on the rankings. See the end of the blurb for content warnings.

A transfer student who sits behind him, a forum System bound to his childhood friend, and a classmate's solemn promise: Rei Furuya once truly believed, with hopeful anticipation, in the hot-blooded story of middle schoolers saving the world.

But after looking into it, he found that the System was only good for recording and repeating things. That the main plot never showed up was one thing, but then his classmate told him the whole story had been made up! Worse, it left him branded as a severe chuunibyou with delusions, and after passionately shouting magical-girl lines in front of his friends, he could never hold his head up again.

Rei Furuya: (Might as well laugh it off.)

Just when he thought the repeat-after-me System couldn't possibly surprise him again, his childhood friend mysteriously told him one day that he'd found other people who had been "chosen by fate."

Rei Furuya rallied and headed to the meeting place, only to come face-to-face with the guy he'd beaten to a pulp the night before: ...

The guy he'd fought, seeing the narration: You bastard, what the hell are you making up about me in your head?!

Hagiwara Kenji firmly believes he's been chosen by fate. Even when his childhood friend insists the forum System is just a mechanical repair catalog (his childhood friend Matsuda Jinpei: "That System has the intelligence of a paramecium, so that's about all it's good for!"), he won't be swayed.

Thankfully, his persistence eventually pays off. Three years late, he finally gets a private tutor, learns all kinds of skills, and manages to get a rich beauty (?), then passes the police academy entrance exam and finds like-minded companions.

All the while, the System remains reticent and utterly useless, playing the part of a silent husband (not really) year after year, yet Hagiwara never gives up on it. Until one day at the age of twenty-two, he accidentally learns during a late-night talk with a friend that he's about to die at twenty-two. And right then, the System is still babbling away, reminding him to turn off the comments before bed.

Hagiwara Kenji: ...Is this how you're supposed to be a System?!

*

In response to these complaints, the System says: Dear Host, our full name is the Interconnected Comic Forum System. Once bound, no returns or exchanges. We are not a world-saving System, a rescue System, a repeat-after-me machine, or a mechanical repair guide~

If you're not satisfied, dear, feel free to take a look at our outstanding success stories. The System will always do its very best to help its Host reach the pinnacle of life and a happy ending. We hope the Host will also reflect on themselves and work with us to improve~

Outstanding Success Story No. 1 laughs heartily while patting someone's head: "So that's what it's called? I thought it was an audio charm that kept me company."

Success Story No. 2, who went rogue years ago: Right, look for the problem in yourself.

*

"An Unidentified Diary Entry"

My big brother is the best brother in the entire universe, bar none. The only downside is that he has too many chuunibyou friends.

(looks around) (convinced) Way too many!

Content warnings / Notes:

1. First-person narration in the main story warning (mostly in Volume One). The protagonist stays loyal to the red team and never switches sides. No fake deaths, though there is a faked-death plotline, and no canon characters get hurt.

2. The universally adored protagonist has everyone crushing on him, both romantic and platonic. Different endings in the bonus chapters.

3. Original characters on both the red and black teams get plenty of page time. Many details are author headcanons.

4. A small amount of Katekyo Hitman Reborn! content.

5. The timeline has me confused too, so please don't scrutinize it.

6. Sorry, I apologize for the out-of-character writing, orz.

Theme: You all deserve a better ending