In the winter of Qi Songtang's twentieth year, she had already stopped going out much.
Winters in Germany were long. It was dark by four in the afternoon, and with the curtains drawn, it was impossible to tell day from night. The maid left meals at her door. Sometimes she ate, sometimes she didn't. The doctor had changed her medication three times. The side effects shifted from drowsiness to insomnia, then back to drowsiness. She thought it was all much the same.
No socializing, no going out, no internet, just sleep.
She called it hibernation.
On her eighteenth birthday, Ji Haidu got into Heidelberg University. She was so happy that the celebration lasted until late at night. On the way back to her lodgings, she took a detour, wanting to walk by herself. The German winter night was white with cold. Wrapped in her scarf, she thought about the future: university, graduation, work, a bright, straight road ahead.
Then she saw someone by the bridge, standing on the outside of the railing.
Her smile was still on her face. She hadn't had time to take it back.
Later, she told Qi Songtang it was the worst birthday present she'd ever received. Qi Songtang didn't reply. She only lowered her eyes, her eyelashes casting a small shadow on her pale face.
Ji Haidu added, “Never mind. Let's keep it.”
Theme: Mm, everything will be all right.
