I Really Didn't Mean to Climb into the Dragon's Bed!

Please be cute and add this to your collection! It'll be opening soon.

Mischievous, shameless bottom x mentally unstable top. Essentially, a goofy comedy.

The king orders his minister to die, and the minister gets pregnant with the crown prince.

*

Ting Yu transmigrates into a book and becomes a treacherous minister serving the villainous tyrant.

The tyrant is arbitrary, ignores all advice, lives extravagantly, and, most importantly, loves to treat human lives as worthless!

Ting Yu nearly becomes one of his victims.

In court, Xiao Xun steps down from the dais and stops before him, murder in his eyes.

Ting Yu has only just transmigrated and hasn't even had time to react when he is forced to his knees. The words spill from his mouth: "Your Majesty, I'm carrying your child!"

The court officials are shocked and drop to their knees, crying, "Congratulations, Your Majesty!"

The tyrant chuckles above his head. "Is that so? Then I suppose you have to stay alive for now, my dear minister."

*

Ever since Ting Yu moves into the palace to "nurse his pregnancy," Xiao Xun hasn't had a single peaceful day.

He wants to smash the vase beside him. Ting Yu cradles his belly and gazes up at him with shining eyes. "Your Majesty, the royal baby can't take a fright."

Xiao Xun closes his eyes and doesn't smash it.

He wants to execute a censor who spoke out of turn. Ting Yu holds his belly and looks at him with tears in his eyes. "Your Majesty, the royal baby can't bear the sight of blood."

Xiao Xun closes his eyes and doesn't execute him.

Later, Ting Yu gives Xiao Xun such a psychological complex that he listens to everything Ting Yu says, afraid that if he gets upset, he'll clutch his belly and falsely accuse him again.

*

Three months later, Ting Yu's stomach is still as flat as ever.

Knowing he can't keep up the lie, he packs his bags in the middle of the night and prepares to run, only for Xiao Xun to block him at the palace gates. "Where are you going, my dear minister?"

Ting Yu's legs go weak, but Xiao Xun catches him securely and wraps an arm around his waist, lowering his head to bite his earlobe. "Qingqing, shouldn't you give me a real crown prince now?"

Bonus Scene

The country can't be left without an heir, but the emperor is unpredictable, so the officials can only beg the empress to persuade him to have more children.

In the imperial study, the empress the officials hope will reason with the emperor is kneeling on all fours, one hand supporting his visibly pregnant belly and the other weakly gripping the quilt.

Ting Yu's back aches and his legs tremble. Tears stream down his face.

The man behind him thoughtfully reaches out to support his belly too, then slips a memorial about selecting consorts into his hand. The movements beneath him never stop.

"Qingqing, you'd better protect my crown prince."

Reader Notes

1. One-on-one, both are virgins, no pairing changes or reversals. The bottom is the original character, and they are each other's only partner in body and heart.

2. The setting is entirely made up, and the court politics have no logic.

3. The top really is ill.

4. "The king orders his minister to die, and the minister gets pregnant with the crown prince" comes from an online meme, but I haven't been able to find its original source yet.

Premise: Keep your feet firmly on the ground.