What Could a Heavenly Master Possibly Do Wrong?

[Gentle, scheming, seductive evil god top x gorgeous, sharp-tongued, unhinged exorcist bottom]

Bai Yang is a famously unhinged beauty in the exorcist community. He's beautiful, all right, but his temper is strange.

Rumor has it that before taking a job, he has three things he never asks:

He doesn't ask about grudges, reasons, or feelings.

As long as the money is good, that's all that matters.

Some call him a miser, others a lunatic. One thing is certain: everyone is waiting to see him make a fool of himself.

But after a while, what they see is this:

A haunted house that had been plagued by ghosts for ten years becomes his dormitory. A client so difficult that the entire industry blacklisted them begs him in tears to stop coming. A famous exorcist from far away wants to be his friend, and even an evil god who had slept for more than a thousand years starts chasing after him.

Bai Yang: These small achievements are all thanks to my peers making me look good.

Some people turn red-eyed with jealousy and say he's just been lucky. These things are nothing but once-in-a-lifetime windfalls. How could he be that amazing?

So they watch Bai Yang cheerfully bang the heads of troublemakers and ghosts together, then turn fondly to the nearby statue of a god and ask if the deity would like to be with him.

Everyone falls silent. ...That's no exorcist. He's scarier than a ghost!

Bai Yang spreads his hands helplessly. He's only trying to solve problems. What could an exorcist possibly do wrong?

Perhaps he'd offended too many people. Someone, jealous of him, used underhanded curses and declared that Bai Yang, born under an ill-starred fate, would sooner or later curse his partner to death.

Those words happened to reach someone's ears. That very night, every talisman in the curser's home burned to ashes.

The Evil God silently crushed the last letter containing a curse. Then he looked up and saw his exorcist sitting at the desk, writing something.

"Come here."

It was only two simple words, but the other person obediently put down his pen and leaned back into a broad, warm embrace.

Fine strands of hair fell onto his shoulder, tickling him. He felt the person behind him becoming more and more brazen, and raised an index finger to their lips in warning.

"Aren't you curious what I wrote back?" he asked with a raised brow.

In the darkness, the indescribable being kissed his fingertip. Its gaze passed through him and fell on the letter lying open before them, where a few flamboyant characters seemed to float on the page.

[Thanks for asking. How'd you know my husband isn't human?]

"A cute little bonus scene"

A human and a ghost develop feelings for each other as they spend time together. But after the god statue repeatedly crosses the line, Bai Yang decides to lay down three rules.

First, no touching him whenever you feel like it in public without his permission.

Second, you have to call him by his name, not mushy things like Baby or Darling.

Third, no learning all kinds of nonsense online. You must follow his rules for romance to the letter.

So the pure and innocent little god statue opens its eyes wide and sees:

A couple kissing passionately in public nearby; lovers on TV entwined and kissing in a dim room, unable to get enough of each other; them calling each other by name over and over; and the book in its hands, The Complete Guide to Saying One Thing and Meaning Another in Love...

Its eyes light up, and it nods obediently.

It seems to have learned all the wrong things!

Please note:

1. This is not a traditional supernatural ghost-hunting story. It has lots of arc-based adventures.

2. It's not scary. This silly author can't write horror.

3. The setting is entirely fictional. Please don't relate it to real life.

Moral: Everything is suffering, and only you can save yourself.