Peace-Loving, but a Mecha-Wrecking Maniac

The author revises the text from time to time, so the word count only ever goes up. There are considerable differences between the official and pirated versions; the Jinjiang version is authoritative.

Please add my upcoming novel, “When the Strange Descends, I Choose to Plunge Right In,” to your collection QAQ. The blurb is at the very bottom ↓

Blurb:

△ Comedy ensemble cast / mecha league / interstellar life / monster-slaying and leveling up

△ Aloof, high-and-mighty flower of the mountainside, nuclear bomb turned human heroine × proud, composed hero, reincarnated vinegar jar

①

Ji Zhanyue cultivated for a thousand years, but failed her tribulation one day and was struck by lightning into the interstellar era.

The good news: she was still alive.

The bad news: she had no legal identity, no money, no magic, and was practically illiterate. The AI System had even identified her as an S-class criminal suspect.

AI System: Recommendation: surrender where you stand.

Ji Zhanyue: How about you try a different recommendation?

She had no education and no money, but she did have three things: a strong body, a thousand-year-old divine consciousness, and hair she treasured like a priceless possession.

A starship? Smash it. A mecha? Take it apart. Try singeing her hair? She'd scatter your ashes to the wind.

②

After ending up stranded on a desolate planet, Ji Zhanyue found a man on the brink of death.

She'd planned to walk right past him. On a desolate planet, people who meddled in other people's business died fastest.

But he said, “Save me. I have money.”

Ji Zhanyue pulled her foot back. “How much?”

Fifty thousand star coins, not a cent less. The man gritted his teeth. “...Fine.”

Later, he taught her to pilot a mecha and fought in illegal matches with her. When she planned to break into the exiles' prison alone, he called her a “lunatic,” but followed her anyway. On the day they blew up the prison, he shielded her from the blast.

Ji Zhanyue figured that was probably what paying off a debt looked like.

But when she said, “We're even,” he gripped the badge and sneered. “You think you get to decide when we're even?”

Later still, he disappeared without a word, leaving only a short knife and a note that read: “I'm leaving for a while. Don't look for me.”

Ji Zhanyue tore up the note. Who the hell would look for you?

③

On the first day of school, students from the First Federal Military Academy came looking for trouble. Ji Zhanyue remembered her principle of keeping a low profile and held back.

They only got worse, publicly mocking her for being illiterate. Ji Zhanyue took a deep breath and picked up the microphone.

The whole crowd held its breath, waiting for her to deliver a tactful response. She grabbed the floating loudspeaker in front of her and hurled it with all her might, hitting a target two hundred meters away with pinpoint accuracy.

Everyone: “???”

Ji Zhanyue: “I love peace. Don't mess with me.”

Everyone: “...” What the hell do you know about loving peace?

The livestream chat exploded, calls from every faction flooded the principal's office, and Ji Zhanyue became a meme, achieving electronic immortality.

④

They met again at the Four-School League. Ji Zhanyue pressed her short knife just below his Adam's apple and scoffed. “Should I know you, Commander Ying?”

Ying Baiyu said nothing.

She looked at him with the exact same cold gaze she'd had the first day they met on the desolate planet. She'd stopped in front of a pile of rubble, looked down at him, and asked, “Why?”

This woman hadn't given him a second thought at all.

⑤

It didn't take long for the other academies to realize that the team from Desolate Planet United Academy could only be described as “immortals as numerous as the hemp in a field”:

A main damage dealer who couldn't move whenever she heard “cheap” or “extra pay”

A support who loved playing dirty tricks with her pet snake

A commander who charged at the front shouting “Friendship! Bonds!”

A mecha mechanic whose catchphrase was “Protect the world's best patchwork mecha!”

And a chubby blue jellyfish that puffed itself up like a ball when angry and whacked people with its tentacles.

At the post-match interview, a reporter asked Ji Zhanyue what she thought of her team.

Ji Zhanyue thought for a moment. “Together, we're weed killer. Apart, we're invasive snails.”

Reporter: “?”

Jiang Tu: “What happened to our team spirit?!”

Lin Xiaogu: “Did we ever have any?”

Xu Zihan: “Our bond is unbreakable!”

Reading guide:

1. Romance to plot ratio: 3:7. Both leads are each other's first and only. Happy ending. The romance develops slowly. Ensemble cast, with the male lead having a relatively low profile.

2. The heroine is the strongest fighter. The hero turns into a reincarnated vinegar jar later on, getting jealous of everyone, including himself.

3. Lots of author-invented details; please don't overanalyze them.

4. “Immortals as numerous as the hemp in a field” is a joke by the author, not a typo (crying).

5. Some of the settings may not feel sufficiently “interstellar.” Please bear with me, and don't read if it's not your thing.

6. This is the author's first book, so it definitely has plenty of shortcomings. I'll do my best to improve it. Please don't roast me QAQ

♡ Upcoming novel: “When the Strange Descends, I Choose to Plunge Right In.” Here's the blurb. Please add it to your collection! Come watch the cheeky toilet plunger's “hot dance” wink~ (•͈˽•͈)

△ Bug-exploiting addict heroine × untamable, feral hero

The day overtime led Xun Shian into a rule-based horror game, she happened to be carrying a brand-new toilet plunger she'd just bought.

Everyone else: “Aaaah! Help, there's a ghost!!”

She was having a great time jabbing monsters with the rubber plunger when it suddenly spoke in her hand:

“Filthy little wretches, how dare you act so brazenly before me?”

Xun Shian looked down. The rubber plunger was glowing, in a very sinister way.

“Who are you?”

“I am the Supreme One of ancient times, sealed away here for three thousand years. Mere mortal, tremble! Kneel! Be afraid! If you are willing to enter into a contract with me, ”

“What kind of contract?”

“A pact! I shall grant you supreme power, and you shall help me, ”

“I'm not signing,” Xun Shian said. “That doesn't stop me from using you, though.”

The plunger: “...”

“You're sealed inside a plunger. How can you stop me from using you?”

The plunger fell silent for a moment, then spoke in a strangely complicated tone. “...You're really good at exploiting bugs.”

Xun Shian: “Thanks. I learned from working overtime.”

Later, she discovered that this place was full of bugs.

The rules said not to look back after midnight. She walked backward.

The rules said the person in the mirror would copy your movements. She made faces at her reflection.

The rules said not to sign a pact. She just used the rubber plunger to suck things up.

A vengeful woman in red was seething with resentment. One jab from the plunger.

The plunger trembled violently in her hand. “She hasn't brushed her teeth in three hundred years!”

A headless factory manager chased after them with pipe wrenches. Another jab.

The plunger gagged. “I hate the smell of machine oil!”

One person and one plunger: wherever they went, the rules fell apart.

Until the dungeon's enforcer appeared.

The man leaned at the far end of the gray fog, his uniform collar open and dangerous light stirring in his eyes. He didn't look like any respectable enforcer.

He raised his eyelids slightly, wearing his usual air of arrogance. “This weapon has the aura of an evil god. It's dangerous. Get rid of it.”

The plunger bristled. “Stay away from me! I absolutely hate your smell!”

Xun Shian pressed the plunger down. “Calm down. You'll chip your paint again.”

The plunger: “...”

The plunger: “Did you hear him say I was dangerous?”

Xun Shian: “I heard.”

The plunger: “And?”

Xun Shian: “And I'm used to you, so I'm not replacing you.”

The plunger fell silent for a moment. Its red glow flickered, and its tone suddenly turned smug. “Zhong, did you hear that? She's used to me, so she's not replacing me. Heh heh.”

The man didn't say a word.

His tall shadow loomed over them, pressing down with an intensity that left no room to retreat.

He slowly drew closer, like a beast lurking alongside them that had finally grown tired of hiding beneath the skin of “order.”

“Not replacing it?” He looked down at her. “I sealed it. You don't get to say no.”

Xun Shian looked at him suspiciously. “Really?”

The air fell silent for a moment.

Xun Shian looked at him, then at the plunger in her hand.

“Great, then.” She held out the plunger. “Since you sealed it, you should know how to fix it, right? It keeps saying its paint is chipping.”

The plunger: “My paint is not chipping!!”

The man stared at the rubber plunger suddenly thrust in front of him, a vein at his temple twitching ever so slightly.

He suddenly smiled, looking casual and unruly.

“You want me to fix a toilet plunger?”

Xun Shian: “What else? You're the original manufacturer. I'm asking you for after-sales service.”

Reading guide:

1. One-on-one romance, both leads are each other's first and only, happy ending. The romance is between the heroine and the hero. The plunger is a “high-risk” mascot.

2. Lots of author-invented details; please don't overanalyze them.

3. A fake forced-relationship, real male-lead-constantly-losing-his-cool story.

4. Original blurb dated August 6, 2026. It will be polished later, but the core jokes will stay the same.

Theme: Stand firm without breaking; fall without losing heart