How Impressive Was Crown Prince Li of Emperor Wu of Han?

A thousand-year-old ghost transmigrated in a single instant. One second, he was scrolling on his phone with the air conditioning on. The next, everything went blurry, and he found himself in the late Eastern Han, being hotly pursued by the Xianbei. Another unfortunate soul was a not-quite-grown Han boy, dressed in coarse hemp clothes and clutching a long saber with a nicked blade. Seeing how miserably he was crying, the boy hesitated, then took out a hu bing from his clothes, broke it in half, and handed him a piece. Liu Ju cried even harder. Couldn’t you at least give me a bowl of knife-cut noodles?! Two spoonfuls of chili oil, no scallions! * Many years later, the two came of age. The boy transformed into Wen Hou, renowned throughout the land. His surname was Lu, his given name Bu, and his courtesy name Fengxian. With the Bingzhou army, he rampaged across the Central Plains, fighting Yuan, Cao, Sun, and Liu until they were at each other’s throats. Liu Ju, meanwhile, became a famous grain magnate in the chaotic age, coveted and watched like prey by every faction. Wen Hou most of all A letter to Ju: I was checking the grain stores in broad daylight, and the warehouse was so empty a horse could run through it. I couldn’t help remembering the days when we shared a bing in Bingzhou. Liu Ju: ... He picked up his brush and wrote back: How much do you need? A letter to Ju: Yuan Shu is crafty, Liu Bei is a hypocrite, and Cao Cao is so arrogant he makes my blood boil! My brave sons of Bingzhou have fallen into these petty men’s trap and lost their foothold. When we passed through Ye County, an old woman took pity on us and gave us a bing to fill our bellies and a roof to sleep under. I couldn’t help but weep. Liu Ju: ... His words cut deep into the paper: You may borrow Ye County. Return it in three years. Later, Jia Xu said, “My lord, Wen Hou has sent another letter.” Liu Ju clutched a box of IOUs and gritted his teeth. “Borrow, borrow, borrow! What does he want this time? Why not just borrow me, his lord, while he’s at it!” After receiving Jia Xu’s tactful reply, Lu Wen Hou hurried all the way to Jingzhou. He didn’t even dismount. “I’ve conquered Yuzhou. All I’m missing is a governor with the surname Liu.” Liu Ju: “...” Fine! He was borrowing the lord himself! “Ahem. Since that’s the case, I suppose I’ll have to go.” A headstrong, hard-luck disaster of a man vs. a favored child of fortune whose heart suffers, though his fate does not *Career-focused blurb* After transmigrating to the late Eastern Han, Liu Ju received an imperial edict from Emperor Ling ordering him to lead eight hundred soldiers from Luoyang in a surprise attack against one hundred thousand Xianbei cavalry. Liu Ju: Huh? Me? Me, the one who fought my way out of Chang’an, lost, and then hanged myself? Me, the one whose grandson took the throne and posthumously named me “Li”? Me, whose own father, Emperor Wu of Han, said I was unlike him, and who was framed for witchcraft, but, with nowhere left to turn, flipped the table and killed the real culprit? Well, you’ve got a good eye! Drive the Xianbei north, quell the Qiang rebellions in the west, put down the Yellow Turbans, campaign against Dong Zhuo, occupy the four provinces of Bing, Yi, Jing, and Yong, and make a bid for the Central Plains. Cao, Sun, and Liu: What happened to your reputation for kindness and caution?! Liu Ju: First, I haven’t held the emperor hostage to command the lords. Second, I haven’t proclaimed myself king or emperor. Third, I don’t know how it happened, but Lu Bu, Jia Xu, Zhao Yun, and Xu Shu all chose to follow me. Maybe we all have the Han dynasty’s irresistible charm in our blood. Mine’s just a little purer. Cao, Sun, and Liu: ... “My cousin Huo Qubing, the one who marched to Langju Xu.” “My uncle Wei Qing, the one who won seven battles in a row.” “My mother, Wei Zifu, who held the empress’s seal for thirty-eight years. The moment I said I wanted to kill the treacherous ministers, she opened the armory and sent out the guards without a second thought. The Great Han’s Empress Wei.” “I am the first crown prince in history to stage a coup.” “I said I was a vegetarian, and you actually believed me?” Reader’s guide: There are original inventions; this is a parallel Three Kingdoms setting. Theme: Science and technology are the primary productive forces.