The Scumbag Bottom Who Chased His Husband to the Crematorium and the Unrepentant Scumbag Top Get a Happy Ending

Huo Quchen was young, handsome, and talented, a painter with a modest reputation. But he was rotten to the core, with a highly flexible moral compass. People criticized him for living off others, and he'd spent twenty-seven years doing so without an ounce of shame.

One day, he gained self-awareness and discovered he was living in some bizarre face-slapping novel. According to the surface-level setup, he was lazy and unambitious, and used sweet talk to deceive the original love interest, body and soul. Then came the twist: the exact opposite was true. It was all the original love interest's wishful thinking and self-indulgent performance. His obsessive harassment exhausted Huo Quchen, body and soul, until he finally ran away.

Wow, what a layered story.

When the System showed up, Huo Quchen learned in a daze that he didn't have to clear his name. All he had to do was follow the plot, and he could live a life of swapping partners like outfits and having a steady stream of people support him. He couldn't help applauding. What a brilliant setup.

Then he thought about it again. Wait, wasn't this original love interest his husband?!

Tsk. His husband always wore an icy expression, as though he wanted a divorce at any moment. Who would've thought he was trying to cling to him in secret?

System: Are you doing this or not?

Huo Quchen: Not even a second of mourning for the husband I'm about to lose. Here comes the super, ultra scumbag.

*

Meanwhile, Yu Jinshu, a scummy love interest created as the perfect counterpart to a scumbag top in order to take revenge on scummy romance novels, finished reading the plot the System had shoved into his brain and was deeply confused. His husband, Huo Quchen, was so wonderful. There was no reason to treat him like trash. Did he really have to become a scumbag, torment his partner again and again, rip out his heart and kidneys (literally), then come to his senses after his death, wallow in grief, and spend the rest of his lonely life sitting on billions in assets with seven or eight lovers, just because other stories had love interests who got hurt?

What a strange plot. So strange. He was a CEO who had to deal with a thousand things a day. How could he possibly have time to date n people at once? He wasn't some master of time management.

System: That's what the script says. Are you going to do it or not?

Yu Jinshu: What happens if I don't?

He soon found out. He'd get electrocuted.

To save his own skin, Yu Jinshu had no choice but to apologize to his childhood sweetheart and husband and do his best to play the scummy love interest.

*

The two of them put on an impassioned performance.

But since they'd been an old married couple for so long, they gave themselves away almost immediately.

In the middle of the night, Yu Jinshu was holding his aching head and heading to the bathroom to splash some water on his face when he happened to see Huo Quchen wearing rubber gloves, holding a glowing orb in one hand and pressing it into the bathtub. The thing gurgling and nearly drowning looked like his System.

Huo Quchen had shed his usual laziness, a vicious glint flashing in his eyes.

Yu Jinshu leaned against the doorframe and called softly, "Quchen?"

Huo Quchen turned around, panicked. His face filled with hurt. "Honey, you can't actually listen to this nasty thing and abandon me."

The two of them sat down and compared their scripts and the Systems' accounts. It turned out they came from different books. Their plots had merged, and neither System wanted to lose its job, so they had no choice but to go along with the plot and make the two men fight.

Now the question was, how could they break out of this situation?

Huo Quchen looked at the label above his husband's head and picked out "main love interest." Then he picked "main top" off his own head and put the two together to think it over. Suddenly, he lay down on the spot. "Honey, try taking me."

Yu Jinshu: ...Have you wanted to bottom all along?

Huo Quchen, no-longer-acting version: Damn it.

Yu Jinshu: Do you think you're the only one who's tired?

Huo Quchen sensed something off in his husband's tone and grew wary.

Yu Jinshu sneered. "You think your ass is the only one that hurts after you pound it every day?"

The next day, Huo Quchen covered his sore butt and sincerely thanked the System for accidentally doing him a favor. His husband loved him even more now, and every part of him belonged to Yu Jinshu!

Reading Guide

The couple are each other's one and only, body and soul. They're both hopeless romantics and madly in love.

May contain some stereotypes.

Huo is the top and Yu the bottom at first, but they switch later on.

The blurb may change. The published novel will be the final version.

It won't be starting soon. For now, this is just an idea I'm saving.

Theme: Love a real person