I Swear I’m Not Sleeping with the Host

Nian Ci, a low-ranking System, spends every day desperately competing for performance targets, but can never quite get the hang of it.

As it happens, the company announces a new rule: any System that ranks last in performance for ten consecutive years will be destroyed.

Nian Ci, who has just won the award for last place for the ninth time: ...Heaven really wants me dead TvT.

To stay alive, the usually honest Nian Ci grits his teeth and timidly pulls off a capital offense: fabricating a Host identity and acting as both System and Host, perfectly achieving self-sufficiency.

At first, Nian Ci is timid and only dares to issue tasks worth a few points

Nian Ci walks to one side of the room and lowers his voice. “Thank you for the System’s guidance.”

Nian Ci walks back, puts on a stern face, and nods. “You’ve worked hard, Host.”

Task completion: 100%. Host satisfaction: 100%. Reward received: ten points.

He issues the task, completes it, gives himself the reward, and collects it himself.

For the first time, Nian Ci experiences the joys of being a capitalist. Watching the points roll in as if blown his way by a gale, he grins from ear to ear.

And so, sneaky little Nian Ci grows bolder.

[Task: Make your Host proud of you.]

[Reward: One set of the latest System skins.]

In the small world, Nian Ci clears his throat and starts speaking to thin air:

“Reporting to the Host: the System completed all of today’s tasks with a 100 percent success rate. I didn’t slack off, fool around, or mess anything up!”

“Reporting to the Host: the Nian Ci System helped a coworker get water today. It was another day of being a helpful colleague.”

“Reporting to the Host, ”

A coworker passing by stops short: ...? Has the pressure of meeting performance targets driven him mad?

He cautiously peeks inside and sees Nian Ci holding his reward, looking a little bashful. “Host, Host, you’re too kind. It’s only what I’m supposed to do.”

Nian Ci, *sneakily* *addicted to playing two roles* *successfully split into two personalities* *never forgets to act shy while collecting rewards*: Is this what getting rich overnight feels like? It’s so intoxicating!

Coworker: .

The coworker shakes his head and leaves. By the next day, rumors about Nian Ci are spreading around the company.

After that

Nian Ci walks through the company while his coworkers look at him enviously.

“Nian Ci, Nian Ci, I heard your Host gives you ten points to spend for every twenty points. Is that true?”

“Nian Ci, Nian Ci, which way should I kneel to find a Host like yours?”

Nian Ci is so flattered that his tail practically curls up. He responds to everyone with great restraint.

He secretly thinks: Is this what it feels like to achieve a major result and become a winner in System life? It’s just... amazing!

“Nian Ci, Nian Ci, how about introducing us to your Host at this year’s annual meeting?”

Nian Ci suddenly snaps back to reality.

Good heavens, the Host is him too!

“Ha, haha, my Host is a bit socially anxious. It’s, it’s not very convenient, ha.” Nian Ci laughs awkwardly, then darts off.

Nian Ci’s heart pounds in terror. If his fake Host is exposed, his big achievement will turn into a big disaster.

He never imagined that disaster would arrive so soon.

When the manager strides up to his workstation with a group of people in tow, Nian Ci is so frightened that he drops to his knees on the spot.

Nian Ci is on the verge of tears. “I confess! I’ll tell you everything! I did it all myself!”

The manager slams a hand on the table. “Good! System Nian Ci has been secretly consorting with his Host and bringing shame upon the company. This crime is unforgivable!”

Nian Ci, who has just squeezed out a few tears: “…” Huh??? He, he was consorting with his Host?! Him?

Just then, the office door opens. A tall, elegant man walks in at an unhurried pace and glances over the crowd. “That’s right. I’m the one he’s been consorting with.”

Nian Ci is stunned. He never expected someone to claim that charge for himself.

The manager is stunned too. He never imagined that timid Nian Ci’s secret partner would be their Supreme God!

Archived 2026.9.17

Theme: Don’t bully the simple-minded.