Teyvat Life Simulator

Dear Traveler, welcome to the Teyvat Life Simulator.

Initial achievements detected: [Lone Star Pro], [Redemption for Luck E]

[Loading identities available in this playthrough...]

▌The Great Lucky Carp Has Arrived. Make Way!

The Geo Archon finds a child in the ruins.

The adepti are baffled. "This child has a peculiar fate. Anyone nearby will suffer a decline in their fortune."

The Lord of Geo replies calmly: "No matter. They can be stationed at Qingyun Peak to absorb the world's ill fortune and safeguard Liyue's peace."

And so you become Liyue Harbor's famous "Living Auspice."

Xiao turns and walks away the moment he sees you.

Hu Tao chases after you to ask if you'd like to book a second tombstone at half price from the Wangsheng Funeral Parlor.

Foreign visitors who pray at your statue receive your blessing too: their expedition missions are guaranteed to fail.

▌A Hater with a Rebellious Streak Just Loves Making Life Hard for the Anemo Archon

You were born in Mondstadt and grew up to the sound of a bard's lyre, yet you led the charge in founding the "Anti-Anemo Archon Alliance."

Your reason: "Every time he shows up, I trip, lose my money, or get smacked in the face by a pigeon!"

One day, the green-clad bard sidles up with a cheeky grin. "Hehe, I hear you have a problem with me?"

You coolly present your evidence, but he suddenly places a faintly glowing apple in your palm.

"Then from today on, I'll make it up to you for every bit of your misfortune."

Only later do you learn that sharing your "luck" with others is the gentlest curse a god can give.

▌The Heirs: The Tenryou Commission! Your Son's a Gay!

You enter the Tenryou Commission from a village destroyed by monsters. You don't have family connections or swordsmanship to thank, but your bizarre fate: "Anyone who gets close to you is bound to suffer misfortune."

At first, everyone steers clear of you. Until the sword tournament...

Kaedehara Kazuha: During a spar with you, he slips by accident, but just barely dodges a fierce strike aimed at a vital spot.

"A capricious fate sometimes points the way to a genuine turning point."

While you accompany the Yashiro Commission on an inspection tour, mishaps keep cropping up along the way. Yet in the chain of chaos you set off, Kamisato Ayato casually resolves his family's financial crisis.

"Your mishaps seem to stir up the waters, letting people spot the fish hidden beneath the surface."

Even Arataki Itto, who shares your table at Uyuu Restaurant, knocks over a bowl of miso soup and finds his Vision at the table leg. He'd thought it was still embedded in a statue.

"Following you is never boring! Even bad luck is fun with you!"

You go from being the "jinx" everyone avoids to becoming a much-discussed "fortune litmus test" in Inazuma City.

To keep Inazuma in order, Kujou Sara rubs her temples and issues an order: "It is forbidden to use 'interpreting divine revelations' as an excuse to recruit, gawk at, or feed the new heir to the Commission."

▌The Client Is Still Exploiting Bugs Today

Because of your unusual constitution, the Akademiya recommends you for a desert construction project, where you're assigned to deal with all kinds of troublemakers.

Eremites causing trouble? You step forward, and their leader gets diarrhea from last night's barbecue.

Scholars delaying the project? You take a walk through their lab, and their research data suddenly turns into gibberish.

Then the General Mahamatra himself comes to see you. "Someone reported that you're using illegal occult methods to disrupt academic research."

You silently open your status panel: [Luck -12].

Cyno looks at you and falls silent for a long time. "Next time you go out, remember to file a report in advance."

▌A Taste of Fontaine: From Street Vendor to a Fortune

You set up a snack stall outside the Opera Epiclese, with your signature dish, "Fortune Cookies of Uncertain Fate."

Some people confess their love the day after eating your cookies. Others go out in sunny weather and come home soaked to the skin.

Neuvillette, the Chief Justice, once secretly bought one, and afterward the three days of gloomy weather in Fontaine suddenly cleared up.

The Traveler can't help asking you for your secret. You look down as you stir the pot of Slime Condensate:

"Nothing to it. Practice makes perfect. It's all in the cookie."

Theme: Hard work pays off