Human, I'll Raise You on Scrap!

[Draft in Progress] [He thought I was keeping accounts, while I thought he was in love with me.]

Wen Qinglian is a parasitic vine, a famous outer-sect good-for-nothing who loves picking up trash, is soft and adorable, and sweet-talks people for favors. He has just one principle: no feelings, only returns.

After all... relying on people is no match for mooching. Once I’ve mooched off you, I’ll mooch off someone else. Senior brothers and sisters, junior brothers and sisters, don’t rush. There’s a share for everyone.

Mooching is no match for scavenging. As long as he’s touched it, it’s his. He’s determined to one day scavenge his way to “cleaning out” the entire immortal sect.

Then he finds a “piece of junk” in the back mountains, with every bone shattered and his face ruined. Wen Qinglian’s eyes light up: top-grade heavenly silkworm silk!

His vines wind around the man’s waist before he can, pulling him into his arms as his abacus clicks away. “Senior Brother, if you die, how about naming me your heir?”

Ji Wumian: ...Junior Brother, maybe I can still be saved?

The former sect’s eldest senior brother had excellent talent and formidable skills. Then the sect turned against him, and everyone began cursing him.

Wen Qinglian says: “Everyone here is a fair-weather friend, a bunch of trash!”

Later, the winds change. The sect welcomes a new “eldest senior brother,” who also happens to be rolling in money.

Wen Qinglian immediately changes his tune, smiling sweetly and sincerely. “The former eldest senior brother? A beast in human skin, not worth a penny!”

But can someone tell him why the current senior brother = the former senior brother = the “piece of junk” he brought home?

Fate has him by the throat. “Junior Brother, care to repeat what you just said?”

Wen Qinglian: ...Help! I thought you were my meal ticket, but you thought I was your wife?

He’s keeping accounts, not falling in love. But his vines are out of control, secretly winding around his senior brother’s waist and tightening, turning the tables.

Wen Qinglian keeps a perfectly serious face, restraining his vines as he haggles. “Senior Brother, cut me some slack... How about letting me be on top?”

[Ji Wumian’s Perspective]

Ji Wumian used to be the sect’s exalted “moonlight,” its eldest senior brother.

After being framed, he lost his cultivation and his looks, and could only hide behind his junior brother.

He waited for his junior brother to learn the “truth” and start despising or fearing him like everyone else, or offering him cheap pity.

Instead, he saw Wen Qinglian humming every day as he carried home a huge pile of rare treasures given to him by others, all the while muttering:

“Don’t be scared, Senior Brother. Sure, your aptitude is worse than mine, your people skills aren’t as good, you’re not as handsome, and your personality isn’t very likable...”

“But I’m just playing around with everyone else. With you, I’m the real deal.”

Ji Wumian: ...Heh.

At first, Ji Wumian thought Wen Qinglian had nothing but a cute face, and was a greedy, hypocritical, stupid moocher.

But when his grievous injuries became unbearable, Wen Qinglian stayed up all night, spending his own hard-earned scavenging money to treat him.

When others abandoned and forgot him, Wen Qinglian came running over every day, excitedly sharing what new treasures he’d “mooched” that day.

Ji Wumian understood: his junior brother must be hopelessly in love with him!

One day, he’ll rise on the wind and cut down every scoundrel.

“Senior Brother.” The boy’s eyes sparkle as he offers him half a spirit fruit he picked up, clicking away on his abacus. “I did the math. Keeping you costs me thirty superior spirit stones more than the clothes and jade pendants you’ve given me are worth.”

Ji Wumian gives an inscrutable little laugh. “And?”

“So you’d better live a long time, until I’ve made my money back.”

Ji Wumian glances at the vines wrapped tightly around his limbs. The corners of his eyes redden, and he holds back a gasp. “But haven’t I already...”

Before he can finish, the vines tighten, pulling him closer.

[Mini Scene]

Wen Qinglian (carefully tallying his accounts): Treatment fees, spirit herb fees, emotional damages... Tsk, I’m down thirty spirit stones.

Ji Wumian (thinking): He’s spent everything he has on me. He must be hopelessly in love.

Wen Qinglian (smiling at his senior sister): Senior Sister, I like you so much!

Ji Wumian (crushing a tree trunk): He’s deliberately trying to make me jealous. He just wants my attention.

Wen Qinglian (shouldering a little bag): I shall become king of the junkyard!

Ji Wumian (grabbing him by the collar): Forget being king. Go take care of my little stash first.

[Mini Scene Two]

In the middle of the night, Junior Brother Wen secretly crouches in a corner, scolding his vines: Don’t sneak a feel of Senior Brother’s waist, got it? If you’re going to steal something, steal his storage pouch.

At night, Ji Wumian deliberately tucks his storage pouch inside his robe and lies on top of it. Thin vines twist and curl their way beneath his clothes, wrapping around his waist...

Reader’s Guide:

1. Not for extreme character loyalists. Happy ending, sweet romance, comedy, devoted to each other, ensemble cast later on, anti-System, primarily from the pursuing partner’s perspective, with a dual-perspective and ensemble plot.

2. A devoted scavenger and famous flirt who’s all about collecting junk and reeling people in x an aloof, arrogant genius playing the part of an ice-cold dragon who talks himself into love.

3. Not a typical weak protagonist. Both are strong at heart and independent. Wen’s storyline is scavenging and mooching; Ji’s is a revenge story with an arrogant genius protagonist.

4. Handsome pursuer and beautiful pursued. The pursued’s looks will definitely be restored.

5. Not for extreme character loyalists.

Synopsis screenshotted on January 13, 2025.

Theme: Even an ordinary junk collector can dream of mooching the entire immortal sect dry!