What Should I Do Now That My Secret Crush Has Been Found Out?

[One day, your unbelievable sweet smile slipped through the gaps in our small talk and shook me from my drowsy youth]

From Cheng Jin'an's diary

From school days to city life | One-sided crush | An icy heart begins to thaw

Lively and sensitive × Cool and aloof

At Ninghai No. 1 High School, everyone knows Xu Tingsong's name.

She's the center of attention: promoted directly from junior high, top of her grade for years, a gold medalist in the National Physics Olympiad, and rumored to be headed for the national training team.

Cheng Jin'an thought she would never have anything to do with Xu Tingsong. Like all the other students, she could only admire her from afar, as the most inconspicuous of her many admirers.

Then a policy change abruptly disbands the elite class, and Xu Tingsong is assigned to Class Seventeen, where she becomes Cheng Jin'an's deskmate.

The top student is poised and polished, aloof and unsmiling.

Cheng Jin'an follows all the rules of having a secret crush: careful and cautious, never daring to show even a hint of admiration in case she distracts Xu Tingsong from studying.

But after a while, she gives herself away. She thinks Xu Tingsong will use it as an excuse to ask for a new seat.

Instead, the top student only presses her lips together, her ears turning red, takes out a worksheet, and silently gets to work.

And Cheng Jin'an realizes that the cool, aloof top student seems to be getting less and less aloof.

In a quiet corner of the library, the two sit in the shadow of the bookshelves.

Xu Tingsong wraps her arms around her knees and stares at the floor. Her voice is soft and calm. “Jin'an, what does it feel like to kiss someone?”

Ninghai No. 1 High School Forum:

Question: What do you do when your crush finds out?

Answer: Kiss them.

Later, on a peaceful afternoon, students leave school in the glow of the setting sun.

Xu Tingsong and Cheng Jin'an stand facing each other in a corner of the stairwell, tears hot on their cheeks.

Xu Tingsong's last words are: “I hope everything goes well for you, and that all your wishes come true for the rest of your life.”

Cheng Jin'an watches her walk away.

No one knows that Xu Tingsong is the greatest wish of her life.

*

Years later, Cheng Jin'an becomes a pediatrician. After an operation one day, she walks back, exhausted.

A woman holding a child stands outside the consultation room. She is tall and graceful, with an exceptional presence.

Cheng Jin'an freezes.

Then she hears the child call the woman Mom.

Cheng Jin'an turns and runs.

What was lost in summer is found again in summer.

The hope I give you is the stars and the sea.

#

Xu is the top, essentially a caretaker.

Slow burn, everyday life, primarily a school story.

Neither gave birth to nor adopted the child. She's the child's godmother; the child belongs to a friend.

Theme: Young love