Erlang Shen Knows His Limits

This is a story about Yang Jian, the True Lord Erlang, and Nezha, Marshal of the Central Altar.

This is a genuinely silly, lighthearted, sweet story, okay? It has a mythological setting. They're still the True Lord and the Marshal, but they haven't met before.

Yang Jian in this story be like: I wasn't actually bewitched. I'm playing a game. I'm pretending to be so besotted I can't think straight, but this is all part of my plan. Everything is going according to plan. Stop talking, all of you. I know what I'm doing, I know where to draw the line, so please don't ruin my plan, okay? Keep talking nonsense and I'll hit you.

[In this story, Nezha is Marshal of the Central Altar, Great God of the Three Altars and Seas, and commander of the Heavenly Court's Five Camps. His appearance is based on descriptions in the classics: "transcendent, free of mortal bones," "the second birth of the Spirit Pearl into the world," "jade-faced and lovely," "beautifully refined," and "truly a qilin son of Heaven, indeed an immortal phoenix of the rosy clouds." He is a beautiful young man.

Yang Jian in this story has "dragon brows and phoenix eyes, pearly teeth and bright lips, a graceful, otherworldly bearing, and a striking appearance." He is the Jade Emperor's grandson, the only son of Lady Yunhua, the True Lord Erlang Who Manifests the Sage, the True Lord of Pure Origin and Sublime Way, and the Lord of Sichuan, universally recognized from ancient times to the present as a peerless handsome man.]

Marshal of the Central Altar holds great power and commands a large army. Most of the Heavenly Court's generals obey him. By order of the Jade Emperor, the True Lord Erlang enters Yunlou Palace to find evidence that Marshal of the Central Altar is abusing his military power and planning a rebellion.

This is the first time he's met the Marshal. The Marshal happens to be heading out. A magnificent carriage drawn by heavenly horses, filled with drifting fragrance and decorated with five-colored curtains, is parked in front of Yunlou Palace. The person inside the carriage lifts the veil and gives him a faint smile. "Welcome, True Lord."

How is that welcoming me? You didn't even get out to bow.

"Greetings, Marshal." He nods without bowing, either.

Nezha looks at him, and he looks back at Nezha. As their eyes meet, Yang Jian realizes that the Marshal isn't as full of hostility as people say. On the contrary, his presence is gentle, just as you'd expect from someone with a lovely jade-like face.

After a moment, Nezha looks away first. "Show the True Lord to the rear palace and get him settled. Have supper served when I return."

So I can't eat unless you come back? It seems the rumors were right. He's unbearably arrogant.

Nezha: He doesn't seem to like me much. I'll have to think of another approach.

Yang Jian: You are annoying, but when did I ever say I didn't like you?

Theme: True love is a match between equals.