Working Part-Time as an Assassin on the Grand Line

Also known as: The Grand Line Smash-and-Grab Plan and The Whole Crew Is in the Middle of a Funeral

What do you do when you're trying to find a job and somehow end up helping someone take over the world?

Polly hung up and fell into deep thought.

I don't want to do this, but I'm broke. It's too dangerous, but I'm broke. No room and board, but I'm broke. The pay is lousy, but I'm broke.

Fine, I'll do it. I can't actually starve to death. I'll stick with it for now and jump ship if I find something better.

But the first job site...

She stared at the name in the email and searched online over and over, but she couldn't find where this "Grand Line" was.

She searched the name of her first target, too. The results on her computer showed zero hits.

After countless hardships, when she finally met her first target, she dropped to her knees with a thud.

"Someone hired me to take you out. Please! Let me kill you just once!"

But her target thought his bounty was too small, gave her thirty thousand, then passed her along to someone called Kizaru.

Fine. Whoever pays is boss. It's not like she has any professional ethics.

She hadn't been at it long before she got another job from Kizaru: assassinate an old man.

Hold on, why did she become a nanny again?! This calls for extra pay!!

Polly was passed from one person to another without completing a single job, but she made a tidy sum in referral fees and pocket money.

This works, too? Then why bother getting a job?!

Polly: "Hey! I quit! I'm done!"

Mysterious Employer: "You get fifty thousand if you take out the next target. You in?"

Polly: "I'm in! This is the job for me! I was born to be an assassin!"

Many years later...

"Hello. Job's done. Pay up."

In a little room, the Mysterious Employer stared at the wall covered with targets, all crossed out, and laughed triumphantly.

At last, it was his turn to rule the world! He would create an entirely new empire!

Overjoyed, he crossed through a rift in time and space and arrived on the island he had carefully chosen, only to stumble into a huge party.

"You people..."

Polly, tied to a pillar: "It's him! That's the voice! He told me to kill you all! He gave me the weapons, too! I'm really a law-abiding citizen! You believe me this time, right?!"

The Marines and pirates, who had temporarily called a truce after the world was blown to smithereens: "?!"

Mysterious Employer: "..."

Th-this is betrayal?

Polly looked completely innocent.

She hadn't betrayed anyone. She really did blow things up. It's just that none of them got killed...

P.S.:

1. Some out-of-character moments are inevitable. Don't scrutinize the timeline; please think of this as a parallel universe.

2. There are lots of characters, so there are multiple endings.

3. Everyone starts out with max affection. A self-indulgent, adored-by-everyone power fantasy.

4. Most importantly!! Existing canon couples will be broken up!!! If that's a dealbreaker, don't read!!!

---The following is a preview of an upcoming novel. Take a look if you're interested!

"Playing Mom and Dad on the Grand Line"

Stella gets a System. It says it's a relationship-collecting system: if she successfully wins someone over without disrupting the plot, it will give her a billion. On top of that, it can keep her young and beautiful forever and grant her eternal life. As long as she works hard to earn points, all sorts of useful items are waiting for her to unlock.

Stella can't think of a single reason to turn down an offer like this falling from the sky.

So she starts out as Roger's mom and Whitebeard's dad. Roger on days one, three, and five; Whitebeard on days two, four, and six; Sundays are for going out. After painstakingly raising them from helpless babies, she refuses to be the kind of parent who crushes her kids' dreams when they finally have their own ambitions, so she lets them fly free.

Now all alone with nothing to do, she starts going around annoying people again.

She tricks Linlin into being her daughter, tells Doflamingo to call her Dad, then heads to Amazon Lily to play house with the adorable Shakky. They even have a wedding, with Stella as the groom.

At the famous God Valley battlefield, Shakky, once again the object everyone is fighting over, roars for the nth time, "I'm already married!!!"

Stella, spying from a corner with binoculars: Sorry, she's got an incompetent husband.

996: "You fucking lunatic..."

When she finally starts looking for Kizaru and Akainu, who have only recently joined the Marines, 996 thinks she has changed her ways and is finally going to try winning them over.

But the moment she sees the two of them, she grabs them and kneels with them on the ground. "Today, the three of us become sworn brothers!"

Aokiji arrives a moment too late to join the sworn-brotherhood and ends up as their bag boy.

When she finally runs into Roger on the vast sea, now terminally ill, she doesn't even give him time to work up a tearful reunion. She slaps him. "How did you get so old? You're not cute at all. Don't call me Mom anymore."

Roger: "?" When did I ever call you that?

Many years later, after finally waiting for Luffy to grow up and set sail, Luffy waves and reassures her, "Don't worry, Dad! I'll definitely become King of the Pirates!"

Stella cries into her handkerchief. "See? Luffy's such a good boy. He's the only child in all these years who's called me Dad."

996: "You fucking idiot!"

996 finally can't hold back and roars, "I told you to win them over! Win them over! Do you even know what that means? I'm a relationship system!!"

Stella picks at her ear. "Isn't family love still love? Isn't friendship still love? Isn't forbidden love still love? Isn't a bond forged by cremated remains still love?"

996 stares at the overflowing affection meter, unable to say a word. At last, it grits its teeth and says, "Just you wait. With how obnoxious you are, you'll get what's coming to you one of these days."

Theme: Those who work hard will eventually see their wishes come true.