Idiot, Rabbits Can Have False Pregnancies!

[Next novel: Uncle, I Want to Be Your Wife. Please show it some love! Blurb at the bottom.]

Xiao Tu was "pregnant."

His lower belly felt hot and swollen, a strange ache had begun in his chest, and even standing still made his legs feel inexplicably weak.

Yet the culprit was leaning against the doorway, chatting and laughing with a group of lazy nurses. When he saw Xiao Tu glare at him, he even returned the favor with a flirtatious wink, charming as ever.

Xiao Tu punched him in the face without a word and turned to leave. The man wasn't angry at all. Instead, he caught up and affectionately slung an arm over Xiao Tu's shoulders.

"Where are you going? You look really pale." As he spoke, his warm, ticklish breath brushed against Xiao Tu's rabbit ears, and the memory slowly overlapped with that night when everything had gotten out of hand.

Xiao Tu gritted his teeth. "To get an abortion."

Xiao Tu was a famous iceberg at the hospital, good-looking and bad-tempered.

Everyone steered clear of him, but he was already used to being on his own, until a disastrous entanglement from seven years ago came back into his life.

Qi Fang, a romantic, wealthy ABC who had returned from overseas, was tall and long-legged.

He became the center of attention on his first day at work. The young nurses flocked to him, but he only cared about the person who acted like he wasn't there.

"Nurse Xiao, long time no... Ow!"

A fist cut through the air and landed on his prominent nose.

Xiao Tu sprayed alcohol on the back of his hand and walked away. Qi Fang, however, touched his sore nose with a lovestruck look.

Mm, his hand was still so soft.

In the nurses' station, Xiao Tu stood on tiptoe to reach the medicine on the top shelf. His shirt rode up with the movement, revealing a stretch of snowy-white waist.

Qi Fang crept up behind him and had just reached out when the rabbit ears that had been drooping suddenly perked up. The next second, an iron fist swung into his stomach,

and the rabbit ears slapped across his face.

Ah, he smelled so good.

Before Qi Fang could recover, a cup of cold water came pouring down over his head.

The water got in his eyes and blurred his vision, but instead of wiping his face, Qi Fang pursed his lips first.

Great, an indirect kiss.

"I've been thinking about what you said yesterday. Since we already have a baby, let's get married first. We can pick out a diamond ring tonight. As for the wedding... we're a little short on time, but don't worry, I'll figure out how to get everything ready before you start showing, including all the baby supplies..."

"Qi Fang," Xiao Tu cut him off without mercy. "Actually, I took a pill that night."

"You took a pill and the baby still survived? That's my kid for you, tough as nails..."

Another heavy punch landed on Qi Fang's face.

"That damn thing is a false pregnancy!"

*

Bonus scene:

"Why would Dr. Qi get together with someone as temperamental as Xiao Tu?"

"Well, just look at him. He's so good-looking, and when he sways that little waist..."

The supply closet was rarely visited, making it the perfect place to gossip, but now a crash came from inside.

Inside, Xiao Tu tried to resist, but Qi Fang pinned his hands behind his back and pressed him against the door.

"Your little belly is so soft. It's even cuter than before."

Xiao Tu struggled in vain, able only to bite his ear and curse at him through tearful eyes. "Qi Fang, you jerk!"

"Keep your voice down. They're still outside."

The two of them exchanged suspicious glances. The inside of the closet was pitch black. Nothing could be seen.

"This is all your fault. I wouldn't have had a false pregnancy if it weren't for you..."

Qi Fang kissed his damp rabbit ears, speaking indistinctly. "Sorry, baby. I'll take responsibility and help ease your symptoms."

[Flirty, scheming, shameless top x cold-faced, adorable, droopy-eared rabbit bottom]

*The bottom is a lop-eared rabbit, with a false pregnancy and other such content (kink warning)

Same-sex marriage and childbirth are legal in this setting, but there are no children in the main story.

192 cm x 170 cm, with a size difference; the bunny is ill-tempered but tiny.

Straightforward, devoted top x sharp-tongued, proud bottom

Rekindled romance, the top pursues the bottom, but there is no groveling.

A bickering couple, both leads are each other's one and only, happy ending

Upcoming novel: Uncle, I Want to Be Your Wife

[Older, fatherly, straight top x bottom who knows exactly how to seduce and act like a wife]

"Waaah... Mama..."

"Don't cry, little darling. How about big brother becomes your mama?"

Cheng Qianshan stood on the balcony, enjoying the breeze. In the next room, his adopted daughter was crying for her mother, while his adopted son had his chest bared as he held and soothed the baby.

Everyone around him knew him as the poor sap who'd been saddled with someone else's kid. He'd been so single he hadn't finally found himself a wife until he was thirty-six. After they married, she wouldn't let him touch her, then somehow got pregnant, gave birth to a daughter, and vanished without a trace.

Fortunately, he knew the drill. He was great at raising kids who had mothers but no mothers to care for them.

Shen Xia was the son of his late comrade-in-arms. As soon as the man died, the boy's mother abandoned him at Cheng Qianshan's doorstep, then went off with someone else.

Cheng Qianshan was twenty-two that year, while Shen Xia was eight. They were too far apart in age to be father and son, but calling each other brothers would have muddled their seniority, so Cheng Qianshan told him to call him Uncle.

A child who had been abandoned knew how to read people's expressions. Shen Xia knew his presence had gotten in the way of Cheng Qianshan's marriage prospects, so from a young age, he helped with the housework and tried to fill the place of a wife.

Little Shen Xia was like a soft, sweet rice cake, obedient and cuddly. He should have been carefree at that age, but instead he lived cautiously, always walking on eggshells. It broke Cheng Qianshan's heart. He worked from dawn to dusk to earn money, wanting Shen Xia to have a good life and worrying that the boy might suffer because of him.

Over the years, business had been going better and better, and Cheng Qianshan inevitably had to attend social events all the time. Shen Xia gradually began keeping an eye on him.

Whenever Cheng Qianshan tried to sneak a couple of cigarettes, Shen Xia's slender arms would wrap around him from behind and snatch the cigarette from his mouth.

To stop him from drinking too much, Shen Xia would go along to banquets, even if people mistook him for Cheng Qianshan's kept boy.

Even Cheng Qianshan's love life was Shen Xia's business. When he married that woman, Shen Xia had objected vehemently, doing everything he could to stop it.

He was practically Cheng Qianshan's little wife.

Shen Xia was still in the bedroom, holding the baby and soothing her softly. The baby rested a hand on his fair chest and finally stopped crying.

He tiptoed into the bedroom. When Shen Xia saw him coming, he shyly gathered his clothes and proudly held out the sleeping baby to him.

"Uncle, look, I got her to sleep."

Cheng Qianshan touched his face. "Mm, our Xiaxia is learning to be a mama too." He could do laundry and cook, nurse a baby, and was handsome and delicate. If he really were a girl, Cheng Qianshan couldn't imagine which lucky young rascal would get him.

Cheng Qianshan felt that even though he didn't have a wife, he had a good family and a successful career, so he could count himself a winner in life.

But that belief came crashing down the morning he woke up from a night of heavy drinking.

Shen Xia lay beside him, his shoulder covered in purplish marks. He trembled as he tried to hide beneath the blanket, the corners of his eyes red as if he'd just been crying.

"Uncle, my backside hurts."

*Reading guide:

The bottom pursues the top.

The top is a lifelong virgin, very fatherly, and thinks he's straight until he realizes his feelings.

The bottom is always thinking of ways to get into his bed, and really does have a strong maternal streak.

Size difference, 187 cm x 170 cm

Fourteen-year age gap

Basically, the happy everyday life of a rugged, honest man and his beautiful, scheming little wife

Happy ending

Theme: Love is fate; the right people will meet again