BTS's Noisy, Clamorous Everyday Life

Dear Namjoon,

It's been so long! Somehow, six months have already passed since we last saw each other. I wonder if you've missed me.

Haha, I don't think I have. Life on the road has been so wonderful that it took me this long to reply to your emails.

Don't worry, I haven't disappeared. I just bought a plane ticket and set off to travel with my little bassoon!

The internet in San Pedro, Argentina, was so bad that my phone couldn't get online at all. I'm sorry I didn't reply to your emails sooner.

Today, by sheer coincidence, a kind stranger lent me internet on the way to the capital, Buenos Aires. In exchange, I'm going to play my beloved bassoon for him in the car.

The stretch limousine really is spacious. There's enough room to set up even my assembled bassoon. As I write this, my new friend is watching me from beside me.

He's a middle-aged man with a lovely speaking voice, and his little pet sounds beautiful, too. If I can, I'd really like to get him to record some sounds for me. You know how much I like doing that sort of thing.

I'll try asking him before I get out. If I succeed, I'll attach the recording to my next email.

This is my first time meeting a white tiger. It's so cute.

Of course, I've also encountered lots of other unusual animals in Argentina. I recorded their sounds, and I've attached them for you.

Because of the internet, I could only pick a few of my favorites to send you. I'm afraid you'll have to wait until I get home for the rest.

My next destination is Brazil. I hope the internet there is good enough for us to talk on the phone.

By the way, if my brother asks you about me, tell him I'm safe. I just forgot his email address. The paper with his address on it blew into Daniel's sister's sink, and by the time I fished it out, the writing was completely unreadable.

Daniel's sister is a neighbor I met in Chile. She loves listening to me sing and play the bassoon, and she often sits by the window with her kitten to listen to me perform.

Thanks to her, I had a convenient place to stay in Chile. Daniel's sister makes amazing bread, and I wanted to send you some.

Unfortunately, when I asked her, she told me her bread wouldn't survive a long trip through the mail. In the end, she gave me some yerba mate she'd made herself. I hope you'll like the flavor.

I've also sent you some local specialties I collected during my travels. If my brother asks you, give him some as an apology from me.

But keep most of them for yourself, okay? I think you need them more, Namjoon. You'd lost so much weight when I saw you at school last time. You said it was a company requirement. I couldn't talk you into refusing their unreasonable demand that you lose weight, so all I can do is send you some tasty food.

I tried to choose foods that won't make you gain weight too easily. If you like them and can eat them, be sure to tell me.

While I'm still here, I can buy you some more and send them over.

That's all for now~ I hope the next place I email you from is closer.

Lastly, I've attached some recent photos. Don't miss me too much. I should be back home in a few months, maybe, probably, I'm not sure. Anyway, see you then~

We'll definitely see each other when I get back. I'm sure of it!

- Your friend, who misses you terribly whenever he has a moment to spare

- Qi Yunlv

*

*

When Kim Namjoon received the email, he stood frozen in the practice room for a long time.

After all... anyone would be stunned to hear from a friend who'd been missing for six months! No joke, he'd even gone to the police station!

In the end, with help from the police, he'd found out that his friend Qi Yunlv had left the country. The security footage showed no one forcing him to go. He'd happily hopped onto the plane all by himself.

Once Namjoon confirmed that Yunlv had simply gone abroad, he emailed him every day, but never got a reply. Until today.

That guy had gone wandering... Honestly, this was ridiculous.

"Namjoon, time to practice!"

"Oh, right! Coming!" Namjoon hurriedly put down his phone.

He tried his best not to think about this situation he didn't know how to comment on, but it didn't work very well.

Even after practice, all he could think about was Yunlv.

Hoseok noticed he seemed distracted and asked him about it.

Namjoon was holding his little phone again, looking dazed.

"My friend from school got in touch," the big bear said solemnly.

He sounded both sad and happy, with some strange mixture of emotions in between.

Jung Hoseok paused while drinking water. He'd heard about Namjoon's friend. He'd even gone with Namjoon to the police station back then.

"The one who went missing and turned out to have left the country?"

"Yeah." Namjoon nodded. "He finally replied to my email. He says he's in Argentina, wandering around and singing every day and stuff."

"Huh?" Hoseok's face froze in surprise. "Did he lose his wallet and passport? Couldn't he go to the embassy?"

The information Hoseok had was that the guy was abroad, busking for food. Namjoon meant that Yunlv was in Argentina as a wandering singer.

To Hoseok, "wandering" meant having no money. To Namjoon, it meant putting on performances in all sorts of places.

They'd completely misunderstood each other. In the end, they just stared at each other in silence.

Neither knew what to say, so they both got stuck.

Yoongi happened to overhear them as he walked by and understood. "Wandering by choice? Your friend is just having fun over there, right?"

Namjoon nodded quickly. "He says he's really happy and has no plans to come home for now."

That whole "maybe, probably, I'm not sure" thing was really just his way of saying he didn't want to come back. Namjoon knew his unreliable friend all too well.

*

Qi Yunlv, age 17, was born in Seoul on October 1, 1994.

He first met Namjoon in the spring of 2010, when he'd just transferred to Apgujeong High School.

As a school with a rich variety of extracurricular activities, most students cared about their social circles, extracurricular development, and opportunities to participate. They were also the sort who were willing to take classes outside school and work on improving themselves independently.

That suited Namjoon, who was training to become an idol. It also suited Yunlv, who was always sneaking off somewhere.

Qi Yunlv had a pair of excellent ears. He could hear every beautiful sound in the world, but he was also easily affected by unpleasant ones.

That's why he didn't like spending much time at school. What on earth were the kids in the club singing? It was torture.

In the end, he was always running off, with the class president chasing after him.

The school festival was coming up, and Yunlv's class was going to sing in a choir.

They were counting on the kid from a musical family to help them make a good impression and lead rehearsals. But as soon as class ended, he grabbed his bag and ran.

Was there a textbook in that bag?

Of course not. It was full of the instruments he'd been playing lately. Sometimes it was something silly like a triangle or a kazoo. Other times it was a bassoon or a violin, and his classmates would give him a wide berth so they wouldn't bump into them.

Today he'd brought a ridiculous all-plastic kazoo.

"Qi Yunlv!!! I told you, you have to come to choir practice today!" the class president shouted, clutching the doorframe. But Yunlv didn't even look back.

Yunlv had originally planned to cooperate, but!!!!

But!

During the break, a few boys in his class had gathered to practice for a while. And, oh, they were right next to Yunlv's seat.

He'd been woken up even though he had his head covered and was trying to sleep. They sounded so awful that his ears hurt, and the noise kept echoing in his head.

"No! People are going to die!" came the voice of the boy running away.

"What are you talking about? Come back!"

No one believed Qi Yunlv, including Kim Namjoon, who'd transferred in that very day.

He just found it funny. That nimble little chubby kid seemed kind of interesting. What he didn't know was that he'd been singing right beside Yunlv that morning, too!!!!

"Maybe next time!"

Yunlv ran off for good after leaving them with a promise of a future performance. His answer had been played on the kazoo.

It even sounded sarcastic.

How did Namjoon realize that he was the one torturing Yunlv? He thought back over it.

Their first time spending time together alone was when Yunlv, once again escaping the class president's pursuit, ran into Namjoon around a corner of the flower garden while he was eating lunch. He nearly knocked over the sandwich Yoongi had made for him.

"Oh, it's you, Mr. Cacophony." That was the nickname Yunlv gave the new kid. Of course, there were plenty of Mr. Cacophonies in their class.

Namjoon was Mr. Cacophony No. 4, because there had been four people making noise and waking Yunlv up that day.

Namjoon was about to speak when the class president's voice sounded in the distance again. "Qi Yunlv! Where'd you go?"

"Shh." Yunlv crouched beside Namjoon and held a finger to his lips. "Help me hide."

Namjoon was a nice guy. Even after Yunlv called him an unpleasant nickname right to his face, he still helped him.

"Are you okay?"

As soon as Namjoon spoke, he saw the person beside him brighten up.

Yunlv thought, "Mr. Cacophony" doesn't sing very well, but his speaking voice is really nice~

Qi Yunlv was willing to talk more and hang out with people who had nice voices.

As for why, most people probably wouldn't believe it if he explained. His ears were so sensitive that unpleasant sounds could make him physically sick.

They gave him headaches, made him want to throw up, and turned his stomach.

That was also why he didn't want to live the ordinary life of a high school student in Korea. As a wandering singer, if he didn't like the sounds around him, he'd run away.

He could run wherever he pleased. Sounds couldn't catch him, and neither could people.

*

In Qi Yunlv's imagination, he might spend his whole life searching for a comfortable place to live, never finding one.

He'd never imagined that he would return to his ordinary life, much less settle down in Korea.

He couldn't really remember how he ended up going back. Maybe it was because the first time he heard a remix of his friends' group's song, he spent the whole night throwing up.

He hadn't wanted to listen to it. He was still "wandering"!

And he'd been so happy when he heard that his friend was about to debut!

In the end, the song was so awful that he had no choice but to buy a ticket back to Korea. He thought it was going to be a rescue mission.

Once he'd rescued them, he'd go back to wandering.

*

Dear Namjoon,

Is this shit?

- Your incredulous friend

- Qi Yunlv

*

Dear Namjoon,

Sorry, I was so worked up that I made a typo.

What is this?

Your company really approved this? Are you seriously going to release it like this?!

Don't waste that beautiful voice of yours! Your rap sounds so good! Don't do this. Get rid of whoever remixed this for you!

Shut down his studio! Drag him out of there!!!

- Your still-incredulous friend

- Qi Yunlv

*

Dear Namjoon,

Why is the second version still shit, the kind that makes people feel sick?

Namjoon... Namjoon!!! Kim Namjoon, no longer Mr. Cacophony!!!

Don't give in!!!

Does this company have no taste at all?

Whoever did the post-production this time, stuff him in a sack and throw him in the Han River!

Tell him to turn down the high frequencies!!! Is he trying to jump off a building or hang himself? Why is there so much treble in the entire song?

If this keeps up, I'm really buying a ticket back. Let me go kill him.

- Your friend, who absolutely refuses to let this stand

- Qi Yunlv

*

Dear Namjoon,

Not again!!!! This kind of thing again!!!!

I bought a ticket! Shibal!

- Your friend, who doesn't like you and is about to board a plane

- Qi Yunlv

*

It took Qi Yunlv a long time to realize what they were up to.

His brother was the mastermind behind it all. The brother he'd had no contact with for over a year had teamed up with Namjoon to trick him into coming back.

They knew he couldn't stand it when his friend's debut song turned to garbage, so they'd tricked him with several deliberately awful mixes.

The dried meat, milk caramel sauce, candied fruit, and yerba mate Yunlv sent home eventually ended up in his brother Qi Yuxian's hands.

Mr. Qi Yuxian, a 26-year-old cellist, hadn't heard from his younger brother in ages. If a classmate hadn't told him that they'd received an email from Yunlv, he'd probably still be worrying about his little brother's self-imposed disappearance.

His brother, nine years younger than him, was such a headache. He had to come up with some way to bring him home.

And then confiscate his passport!!!!

How could he run away just because his brother sang badly? Hadn't he apologized afterward with his cello?

Don't look down on his singing!

He was the youngest first-prize winner in the International Tchaikovsky Competition, after all. So what if his singing was a little bad? Was that any reason to run off to another country?

Come home! Your empty-nest big brother needs company!

Qi Yunlv, having the time of his life abroad, suddenly sneezed, but didn't think much of it.

Go home? No thanks. He liked going to quiet places, singing a little and having fun.

Too many people made his ears hurt...

"Ugh, it's too noisy. Let's go, let's go."

A lot of new people had suddenly shown up at the plaza where he'd been singing that day. They were probably all rock singers. Their overly "unfiltered" singing was more than Qi Yunlv could handle.

He had to get out of there fast.

He had no idea that someone on the other side of the world had set a trap for him.

*

"Brother Yuxian, are you really going to send this to Yunlv?"

One of the tracks was even sung by his brother himself. It sounded awful, just as bad as Namjoon's own singing.

Namjoon could tell without a doubt what Yunlv would do after hearing it. He'd definitely find somewhere to throw up again.

"Send it. And make the post-production sound even worse. He can't stand it, so he'll come back."

He made it sound as "simple" as fishing, and sure enough, Yunlv took the bait.

But what was the point of coming back?

Wouldn't he just leave again if they gave him the chance?

What was the point of returning? Qi Yunlv didn't understand.

The point was that Qi Yuxian knew that even if Qi Yunlv ran all the way to South America, he still wasn't truly happy.

As long as there were people around, there would always be a "Mr. Cacophony."

If he couldn't get past this, his life would never be easy, even when he was old.

Qi Yuxian didn't want his younger brother to spend his whole life hiding.

When he was little, Yunlv couldn't explain how he felt. If he ran away, then so be it. That was better than crying all the time.

Now that he was older, he could control his feelings and his steps. He should come back and give it a try, instead of letting those little sounds drive him to flee far away.

Life after coming home was a cacophonous, unbearably noisy mess every single day...

Whatever. I love them, so what can I do?

"Enough! Stop going at me with your voices! Do you people think this is okay?" Qi Yunlv desperately shoved away the members who loved talking right next to his ears. They chattered on and on beside him every day.

"You sound like chicks! Shoo!"

"Keep a safe distance from me! We're only colleagues!"

"Hey! Qi Yuxian! Who taught you that breathy voice? Kim Namjoon? I'm going to kill him right now!"

"Tie him up in a sack and throw him in the Han River!"

*

What was he supposed to do?

He hadn't planned to stay long. He'd only come back for a visit. But the moment his friends' new companions opened their mouths, his ears were completely "captured."

Going! Definitely going!

No matter how hard he tried, his feet wouldn't carry him out the door. He couldn't even bring himself to say, "I should go."

Theme: Whatever. I love them, so what can I do?