[Gintama] How to Climb the Social Ladder

Blurb 1

From childhood, Nishimura Cho grew up in nightmares. He had no parents and was raised single-handedly by his elderly, sickly grandfather. The villagers envied his excessively beautiful face and often insulted him: "What's the point of being so good-looking?" "What can you do besides show off that face?" They pelted him with stones and splashed him with river water. His childhood memories seemed forever soaked in cold water and bruises.

Later, countless nobles vied for him, and countless men and women went mad for him. Once, a celestial of noble status promised him a fortune in gold if he would spend a night with him.

Yet Nishimura Cho was like a lotus untouched by the mud. He flatly rejected the celestial, who had been made a prisoner of love.

Unexpectedly, this only made even more people obsess over and adore him. He couldn't bear the deep, painful emotions in their eyes. He refused them once, twice, and by the third time, even he began to hesitate.

Some people were even willing to give up their lives just to win him a smile.

Nishimura Cho felt he could no longer remain in his hometown. At last, he resolutely set off alone for Edo.

He often sighed, saying that perhaps this was the fate one had to bear for being too beautiful.

Blurb 2

Blurb 1 is fake, teehee.

Blurb 3

Nishimura Cho was born into an ordinary, loving family that made a living running a kimono shop.

But after the celestials arrived, Japan's economy exploded. The income from a single kimono shop was no longer enough to cover the Nishimura family's daily expenses, so his father had to go out and take odd jobs.

Nishimura Cho, a name known to every household in his hometown, was just like his name: a piece of gleaming, luxurious silk that had suddenly appeared in a small kimono shop. Who could have imagined that a family no one had ever heard of would have a child so beautiful?

As he grew up, many people remarked, "Thank goodness he's a man."

Even as a man, that enchanting face attracted plenty of admirers. After an incident that nearly harmed his family, Nishimura Cho decided to leave home and go to Edo alone.

He had grown up in poverty, seen his father's back bent by the need for money and his mother weeping by candlelight. His sister had nearly been harmed by a villain because of him.

Because of his face, he had also seen men throw around fortunes of ten thousand taels just for a moment's pleasure, rice so white he'd never seen it casually poured away, music played day and night, and koi swimming in babbling streams.

Nishimura Cho decided to use his face to lead his whole family up the social ladder in one leap, so they could live the happy lives of the rich.

And so he went to Kabukicho, Edo's pleasure district.

Whether it's a man with a butt covered in ass hair or an utterly shameless pervert with the most vulgar fetish, even an eighty-year-old woman: he'll win them all over!

Blurb 4

Is Blurb 2 true or false?

If you feel physically uncomfortable, please leave promptly.

If you want to hurt someone with cruel words, drink more hot water.

If you have excellent manners, go watch Gintama.

If you're impure, fall in love with me.

Thank you.

P.S. Most of the blurbs make things clear. If anything bothers you, I'm not responsible.

Theme: Work hard for a better tomorrow