The Paper Effigy Maker Who Seduced the Three Realms

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"Bamboo for bones, plain paper for flesh. Silver needles pierce the eyes, ink lines seal the soul. Incense lights the way; do not lose your path home..."

Just as Yu Xianze hummed while fixing the hair of the paper figure before him, several uniformed people barged into his funeral-supplies shop. Without a word, they handcuffed him and took him away, even sealing the shop door before they left.

In a dim interrogation room, He Fanjin, the youngest chief inspector at C Country's Special Ability Administration, sat across from Yu Xianze.

"There have been frequent cases of ability users injuring people lately. We need your spirit-medium abilities to reconstruct the truth and catch the culprit."

"I didn't do it. I have no idea what you're talking about. Don't make things up."

Yu Xianze looked at He Fanjin pitifully, like a stray little animal. "I'm just a powerless nobody trying to make a living with my little business."

"Yu Xianze, born in 1913, the 36th-generation heir to the Yu family's paper effigy craft. He ascended to immortality for his merits in escorting evil spirits to the afterlife."

"In 20xx, he was banished to the mortal realm for breaking the laws of Heaven. He must escort one hundred five-star evil spirits before he can return to the celestial realm."

He Fanjin's voice was utterly calm.

Yu Xianze was stunned for a moment, then dropped his feigned look of hurt and lazily leaned back in his chair. A mocking smile slowly curved his lips.

"Then do you know why I was banished, officer?"

He discreetly shifted his hands, cuffed behind his back, and slipped two fingers into his pocket, pinching the only talisman he had left.

"Come closer and I'll tell you."

He Fanjin walked over to Yu Xianze and leaned down slightly, lifting his chin with his index finger.

When their noses touched and their breaths mingled completely, He Fanjin saw a sly glint in Yu Xianze's bright black eyes. His beautiful lips parted and closed, releasing a whisper so faint it was almost inaudible, like a feather tickling He Fanjin's heart until it itched.

"Because I... slept with the Crown Prince of Heaven."

Yu Xianze was about to seize his chance and cast a spell to escape, but his hand was grabbed, and the talisman between his fingers was deftly snatched away.

As Yu Xianze glared at him in mortified fury, He Fanjin gently stroked the red marks on his wrist left by struggling.

"I won't make you work for free. The criminals are mine, the evil spirits are yours."

Yu Xianze, whose attempt at seduction had failed, snorted and kicked at He Fanjin.

"That's it?"

He Fanjin nimbly dodged to the side and grabbed Yu Xianze's ankle.

"I can be yours, too."

"...Deal."

Clouds hang low, stars fade, and ghosts roam the night. Yu Xianze went to investigate a "girl's disappearance case" at the ghost market. Deep in the market, where the yin energy was strongest, he saw a man in red as vivid as flames, his long black hair cascading down his back like a waterfall.

The man slowly turned around. The dim lamplight made his exquisite features look even more bewitching. He stared at Yu Xianze, his words full of reproach while his eyes brimmed with amusement.

"Xiao Ze, how could you be so heartless and leave me all alone for so long? Was I not good enough for you that night?"

The moon hangs over a quiet forest, mist seals the mountain peaks. Yu Xianze narrowly dodged a peachwood sword thrust at him, then looked helplessly at the handsome Taoist before him, who was glaring angrily.

The Taoist accused Yu Xianze's paper effigies of channeling spirits of being an evil art, and claimed that the recent "guardian spirit attacks" must have been his doing.

But several days later, the Taoist used his own blood to prepare medicine and carefully helped the injured Yu Xianze up. A blush crept to the tips of his ears.

"Master said that after you take the medicine... dual cultivation will restore you completely."

The Three Realms' best paper effigy craftsman, a seemingly innocent but secretly devious shou x

The seemingly aloof chief inspector of the Special Ability Administration, who is actually great at training people, & the bewitching Ghost King who has maxed out his charm skills & the refined yet haughty novice Taoist from the beginner village & Heaven's most beautiful face, gentle but sly

Paper carries kind souls. Let it not invade the bodies of the living.

Evil spirits, begone. Do not harm the living!

Notes:

1. Warning: Mild reverse-harem setup, with some shou-focused scenes. It's purely because the author's preferences went wild.

2. Handsome gong and beautiful shou; modern setting.

3. The shou is a black-sesame tangyuan: sweet on the outside, devious within, and liable to cause trouble if left alone for three days (x).

4. The blurb has been screenshotted.

Theme: Protecting peace in the mortal world