Your Majesty, Shall We Treat Your Hemorrhoids?

Upcoming novel: The Nine-Grid Hotpot Conquered the Split Pot

In 2005, on Section Four of Hongxing Road in Chengdu, Guishannan, a Chengdu local, and Niutangtang, a Chongqing boy, got into a fierce clash.

One sold split hotpot with a lingering fragrance, while the other sold spicy, satisfying nine-grid hotpot. Both wanted to take advantage of the moment when Re Penjing was bowing out and Kong Liang was making his grand entrance, and grab themselves a bargain.

They had the same little scheme, and even opened their shops right next door to each other. They might as well have written, We are rivals. If we run into each other, we fight, right on their faces.

Just as the diners on the whole street waited eagerly for Chi You's mount to battle Bao Pi Long, Niutangtang had already spread his peacock feathers in front of Guishannan while they were blanching a pig's brain, riding Bao Pi Long and relentlessly pursuing him.

Niutangtang: "What rivals? I just want to win Boss Gui's heart!"

Guishannan: "That idiot next door has eaten too much Sichuan peppercorn and can't even speak straight. Don't listen to him spouting nonsense."

(*-. -)Σ( ￣ᗨ￣;)

Niutangtang: "Take down the neighboring Xiangliuyuan? Dream on! I just want to make Boss Gui too sore to get out of bed."

Guishannan: "...Hello, 110? There's someone riding a motorcycle on Section Four of Hongxing Road without a helmet."

(￣▽￣)o╭╯☆#╰(￣﹏￣)╯

Niutangtang came to Chengdu to open a hotpot restaurant and live freely, never expecting love to tie him down and have him orbiting around a beauty.

Guishannan wanted to escape his life of relying on others. The only way was to make money. Who could have guessed that he'd get a two-for-one deal and end up with a husband, too?

(￣▽￣)~■□~(￣▽￣)

Guishannan's split pot was mild and accommodating, while Niutangtang's nine-grid was bold and fiery. Adults don't have to choose. They can have both!

A beauty with a gentle exterior and fiery heart, the receiver VS a wild, cunning, devoted attack

People of the Western Han, your Chrysanthemum Guardian has arrived!

Gu Yan transmigrated to the Western Han Dynasty. The script she received wasn't one of domestic or palace intrigue, nor was it about farming or construction. Instead... She glanced at the bamboo toilet slips beside her, estimating how many times they had been washed and reused, then lowered her eyes to the cesspit beneath her and caught the faint sound of pigs squealing... She understood. She had landed in a toilet story.

As the saying goes, when in Rome, do as the Romans do. As a colorectal doctor who had transmigrated into a privy, Gu Yan decided to make it her beginner's workplace. First, she'd improve her toilet facilities, then find herself a comfortable little home, and finally set up a stall and practice medicine, making life better for a woman widowed before marriage.

With years of experience fighting hemorrhoids, she became a celebrated female doctor, her reputation spreading throughout the capital and even into the palace, until the emperor summoned her.

At the time, Liu Heng was suffering a disastrous battle with hemorrhoids, in agony both physically and mentally. The officials at court were even hoping he would die. He was beset by troubles within and without.

Before Deng Tong could suck his boils and lick his hemorrhoids, Gu Yan helped him defeat them with scientific, civilized, and hygienic treatment. She was rewarded with the title of Beauty, leaving her startled and clenching in a very specific place. How had this turned into a historical romance script?

Then her fiance, who had died in battle, miraculously returned in triumph. He didn't want a promotion or a title. He just wanted to marry her and have three "good" children with her: three boys and three girls, six in all. Had the story turned into a romance script again?

But all she wanted was to fight hemorrhoids, make money, and shop!

She passed emperors, powerful ministers, generals, and mysterious heroes as if they were scenery along the road. Only money stayed with her.

When Gu Yan says, "Don't talk. Your butt is too high," no one dares disobey. Aristocrats and commoners are all equal in front of a chrysanthemum.

A woman can love money and earn it honorably. With her skillful hands, she fights hemorrhoids with courage!

Currently updating: The Veterinarian Became a Farmer, Her Pets Turned into Kids, and She Kidnapped a Monk to Be Their Dad

/(‵﹏′) ╮(‵▽′)╭ (‵▽′)/

Jing Miao, a veterinarian, transmigrated with her three pets, a Bichon Frise, a chinchilla, and a fox, to an ancient village that hid deadly dangers. She suddenly became a mother to a daughter and two sons.

Her scalpel became a hoe, her white curls became two little buns, and her rat brother and fox brother really did become brothers.

Only... the three kids all looked different, and it was obvious they didn't share a father.

Who were their fathers? Who wanted to assassinate them? Could they ever return to their original world?

There were plenty of questions, but none mattered as much as the one right in front of her: how could she help the kids, who carried the souls of her pets, live like normal children in this ancient little village?

"Big Girl, no pooping wherever you like!"

"Sanbao, don't eat the poop your big sister left!"

"Erbao? Where's Erbao?"

"Mom, Second Brother dug a hole and buried himself in it."

"I'll go fill in the hole for Second Brother!"

Taming human toddlers who carried the souls of pets was harder than caring for a sow after she gave birth.

The kids seemed to realize this, too. One day, they went hunting and came back with a handsome monk tied up, forcing him into fatherhood.

The aloof monk claimed he didn't want to, but every night he pulled Jing Miao close and told her Buddhist scriptures. As the nights went on, hair grew on his bald head, his kasaya was replaced with a short jacket, and his horsetail whisk became a hoe. The pastoral life of a wife working outside, a husband managing the home, and mischievous kids finally got on track.

But just as their peaceful, noisy life began to improve, the long-hidden danger finally emerged. It turned out all three kids came from extraordinary families and had enemies of their own, while Jing Miao and the handsome monk also carried heavy responsibilities.

The family of five had no blood ties, but in the face of danger, they were closer than kin.

The handsome monk revealed his hidden strength to protect his wife and children. The three kids used their special abilities to help, and Jing Miao was brave and resourceful, never holding them back.

After they resolved the crisis, that question about the soul appeared in Jing Miao's ear once more: Can the love people have for their pets be the same as the love they have for their children?

Theme: Once life gets better, it's only natural to want it to get even better. There's no need to be ashamed of that.