Come on, I'm the biggest villain in this book. I imprisoned her, I thought the child was mine, I won. Many readers have cursed me. They've cursed me for being paranoid, for being shameless, for ruining Lin Die'er's life. I accept it all. Because I am Xiao Qihao. But I want you to hear my story—how an illegitimate son, living in the shadows since childhood, gradually pushed the woman he loved into the abyss, and how he spent the rest of his life atoning for his sins. --- First Encounter The first time I saw Lin Die'er was at the Zhang residence. She was Zhang Zhiming's wife, my sister-in-law. That day, she wore a light blue silk dress, standing in the courtyard, sunlight falling on her eyes and brows, like a person who had stepped out of a painting. I had never seen such a woman. So beautiful, so proud, so vibrant. But in her eyes, there was never any regard for me. I was jealous of Zhang Zhiming. Jealous that he was the legitimate heir of the Zhang family, jealous that he possessed a wealthy family fortune, and even more jealous that he had a beautiful and charming wife like Die'er. Why? Why did he have everything, while I was relegated to the shadows, like an ant unable to see the light? Driven mad, I did the most despicable thing I'd ever done to get her. I conspired with her mother-in-law to lure her into my villa. I imprisoned her, torturing her day and night, forcing her to bear my child. She struggled desperately, her face streaked with tears, her heart breaking. But I told her, "Your mother-in-law has already betrothed you to me. From now on, you are mine." When the child was born, I was overjoyed. I thought I had finally won against Zhang Zhiming. I thought Die'er could finally belong to me. But I was wrong. She never belonged to me. She simply endured life, carrying a secret I would never know. The truth I didn't know was—that child wasn't mine at all. It was her and Zhang Zhiming's child. She endured humiliation and rebirth, only to make me raise my enemy's child for the rest of my life. And I, like a fool, held that child named Yi'an in the palm of my hand, teaching him to read and write, teaching him about family and country, giving him all my love. When she heard the child called "Yi'an," the name I had given him. Yi'an, meaning resolute and safe. Hearing that name, her heart must have been bleeding. But she said nothing. After losing him, I became addicted to opium. I wanted to numb myself with opium, to forget the excruciating pain of unrequited love. While I was in seclusion trying to quit opium, my mother sold her to a brothel. When I came out, she had vanished without a trace. I searched frantically everywhere, scouring every street and alley. I searched for her year after year, waiting for ten years. In the end, I received news of her death. She took a fatal bullet to protect others. In her life, she had six identities and three names. Only the name "Lin Die'er" belonged to her until her death. I didn't even see her one last time. I didn't even have a chance to say "I'm sorry." To atone for my sins, after her death, I held the golden butterfly hairpin she had left behind, and secluded myself for three days, neither eating nor drinking. I remembered her saying to me, "I am nothing but your trophy." No, Butterfly. No. I love you because you are you, not a substitute for anyone, nor a trophy. But this love was misplaced from the beginning. Later, I poured all my guilt and obsession into that child. I believed until my death that he was my own flesh and blood. I taught him to love his country and do good, to spend his whole life atoning for the sins I had committed. I also poured all the schemes and methods I had used against Zhang Zhiming, all the connections and resources I had secretly cultivated, into the front lines of the War of Resistance. I was sorry to her, but I wanted to be worthy of this land. In conclusion, some say that the most heartbreaking character in "Butterfly Shadow Returns to Dust" is not Zhang Zhiming and Butterfly, but me. A villain who committed countless evil deeds, yet spent the rest of his life atoning for his sins. If you are willing, open this book. See how a man, obsessed to the core, destroys the one he loves most, and how fate slowly crushes him. I don't ask for forgiveness. I just want her to know—in this life, I'm sorry. In the next life, I will never love you this way again. Human romance cannot wait for a lifetime together; the butterfly's shadow returns to dust, with no return to be awaited. I am Xiao Qihao. This is my story, and a debt I can never repay.
