I Faked a Divine Miracle, and the Fake Saintess Really Woke Me Up?

After transmigrating to another world, Chu Bai discovered that he had become a faceless clay deity, sitting motionless in a dilapidated ancient temple. Unable to move, exposed to the wind and sun, he was not only covered in moss but nearly mistaken for a public toilet by a stray dog.

Then, late one night, a penniless young con artist fleeing her enemies stumbled into the ruined temple. To work up her courage, she offered up half a stale steamed bun and casually made up a summoning spell.

“Ding! A believer’s offering has been received. The Ancient God Cultivation System is now active!”

Chu Bai (speaking through divine thought): “Although I’ve grown a thousand hands, each with an eye in its palm, I’m actually a respectable deity who oversees matchmaking and peace.”

The young con artist (kneeling and kowtowing): “Great and indescribable Lord! Stop pretending! The ‘blessing’ you just bestowed turned all the assassins outside into twisted mountains of flesh!”

To secure a steady meal, the girl carried the statue on her back and joined the royal Bureau of Astronomy.

Chu Bai: “The demons of this world are terrifying. They eat people at the drop of a hat. We must watch what we say and do.”

“But, Your Divine Eminence...” The girl looked at the trembling Grand Preceptor of Great Qian. “You merely sighed, and every haunted domain in the capital was so frightened it blew itself up. So which of us is actually more terrifying?”