MJ, MJ: I Weigh 200 Pounds, but I'm Still Spider-Man

I finally weigh 200 pounds! Hahaha! MJ! MJ! I'm going to become Spider-Man! Here's the story: I, Wang Tiezhu, am an ordinary office worker who's been obsessed with Spider-Man since childhood. Three months ago, I bought a Spider-Man suit for fifty yuan at a flea market. The shopkeeper patted his chest and told me, "Brother, this thing is officially licensed; wearing it will turn you into Spider-Man." I believed him. Later, I believed that post online: "The condition for Spider-Man's powers to awaken is—you must weigh 200 pounds." Don't ask me why I believed that; you've just lost your mind. So I went crazy.