Three and a Half Years Old, and the Whole Internet Watches My Kindergarten Expel Me

(Modern city + genuinely little kid + reincarnated Demon Pill + little menace + everyone's darling + silly, sweet, and satisfying) (Kindergarten life + livestreamed to the whole internet + contrast cuteness + Five Elements Squad + no angst) My name is Li Wangshu. I'm three and a half, the thirty-seventh reincarnation of the Demon Pill. Today, I was sent to a human kindergarten. The kindergarten director smiled and reached out to me. “What's your name, little one?” I grinned, showing my little tiger teeth. “My name is... Demolition Office.” Then I smashed the school bus, melted through the slide, and shattered the fancy coach at the kindergarten next door with a sneeze. The police came and watched the security footage. After lighting a cigarette by the gate, they said, “This is beyond my jurisdiction.” Later, the lotus mark on the back of my neck was seen by the whole internet. An old man with a white beard rushed in, fell to his knees in front of me, and wept uncontrollably. “Little Ancestor! This old servant is thirty thousand years late!” Our kindergarten director brandished a fire extinguisher and shrieked, “Don't kneel! She only learned to wipe herself last month. Let her put her pants on first!” Later, I got four friends. Lin Tuantuan is the reincarnation of the God of Wealth, and her pockets are always full of endless bear-shaped cookies. Zhao Bing frosts over whenever she's nervous, Lei Xiaomeng's hair crackles with electricity when she runs too fast, and the red strings Yue Xiaohong weaves can bind everyone's hearts together. The five of us formed a team called “Break Things, Make Friends.” I, the little pill, don't want to destroy the heavens and the earth. I only want to protect the kindergarten, Director Mom, my wimpy dad and my mom, and those four silly little sidekicks. If anyone hurts them, I'll burn them. But I'll try not to. I'm three and a half. I'm a big girl now. Clap if you understand! Everyone below the stage: So, did you break that door today or not? Li Wangshu whistles and looks at the sky. “...The wind was too strong today.”