Is My System a Satellite?

[Comedy] [Self-Sabotage] [Ancient Times] [Lie Flat] [Wicked Official] [Invisibility] The Tang? The Kang! The Liang? The Liang, but with a different pronunciation! Zhu Wen? Zhu Wen, but with a different pronunciation! What parallel world have they tossed me into? It looks like the chaotic Five Dynasties period, but nothing quite adds up. Whatever. First I’ll keep my head down and lie flat in peace. Fortunately, my identity from the start is solid: I’m the only son of a fearsome general of the Great Liang. My mother was once a trusted attendant to the empress, and I’m the crown prince’s die-hard lackey, having played with him since we were kids. As long as the Great Liang doesn’t fall and the emperor doesn’t go crazy like Zhu Wen, I’m set for life. Even better, I have a satellite surveillance System to help me pull off little schemes and slack off in peace. Who knew every carefully laid plan would end up sabotaging me instead? I try to save a beauty, but end up looking like a lecher who harassed her. The crown prince beats me, Sister Du beats me, and my mother forces me to marry! How is that fair?! Then I have to help choose a crown princess, only to get denounced by her overprotective brother and beaten with a board! And one disaster follows another! How am I supposed to live like this? It’s all that gorgeous woman’s fault! You bring nothing but bad luck! Ever since I saved you, I’ve been cursed! What… why are you following me all the way home? There’s no life-threatening danger from beginning to end, just the everyday misfortunes of a hapless guy that leave you laughing and crying. Even more ridiculous, every time I ruin my own life, Heaven rewards me with an even bigger treat. The schemes really do backfire, but the sweetness is just as real.