I Transmigrated as Yang Jian, and You Still Want Me to Use the Sky-Sweeping Cloak?

[Transmigrate + System + Absurd Comedy + Brute-Force Domination + Invincible Protagonist + Journey to the West Fanfiction + Lotus Lantern Fanfiction] Three goofy college students who'd all failed their finals transmigrated into Yang Jian, Sun Wukong, and Nezha after making a snarky comment while watching a TV show. System mission: No going easy on anyone. Beat Chenxiang first, then beat Liu Yanchang, the man who'd been manipulating the Third Holy Mother, to a pulp. When Chenxiang thought Yang Jian would foolishly throw out the Sky-Splitting Cloak, Yang Jian instead swung his three-pointed, double-edged spear at him. “That one's for disrespecting your elders!” Then he slapped Liu Yanchang straight into the Eighteenth Level of Hell. “And that one's to teach you, you deadbeat pretty boy, not to seduce my sister!” The Third Holy Mother broke down in tears. “You're not my brother!” Yang Jian dug at his ear. “Don't call me brother. I don't have a sister like you.” The Jade Emperor wants to mess with me? I'll turn around and plow through the Southern Heavenly Gate with the Meishan Brothers! The journey to the West is all scripted? Sun Wukong shoved his golden cudgel right in front of the Tathagata. “Old man, what makes you think you get to sit in the middle?” Exterminate Chu Renmei, nuke Raccoon City, stomp through Silent Hill, travel to the parallel world of ENEMY to save the Chen Xiangkou couple, tear the three brothers of Shituo Ridge apart with his bare hands... The missions grew crazier by the day, and the army of rebels snowballed into an ever larger force. Then came the day when Patriarch Hongjun trembled at the sight of the biggest troublemakers. The group looked at the old Heavenly Dao, Hongjun, and gave him the kindest, most murderous smile a bunch of overworked employees could muster. “Old man, it's time to update the Three Realms' timekeeping system.” [Pure absurd comedy: an invincible life where cannons are used to kill mosquitoes. If it's not your thing, please don't flame it.] [Note: This story isn't about changing the Heavenly Rules, nor is it simply about rebelling against gods who fall in love. It's a story about breaking injustice and changing the way human interference disrupts the workings of the Three Realms!]