I Was Struck by Lightning for Fooling Around, and Now the Celestial Master Insists I Become a Big Shot

Everyone on Longhu Mountain knows that a useless Taoist lives in the side hall. He can’t cultivate, doesn’t care about the Dao, is always first at mealtime, and hides whenever trouble arises. Everyone thinks that’s all he’ll ever amount to. Until one day, a talkative System awakens in his mind. “Ding! Congratulations, Host, you have activated the Myriad Worlds Live-Streaming System. Please begin your performance.” “Get lost.” He only wants to quietly blend into the background, but the System won’t let him. He digs through ruins and unearths an ancient token, learns the story of a family’s destruction over a meal, and finds a burly man crouching in a corner, eager to repay a favor. In the shadows, an elder unfolds a map to a hidden treasure, slowly tracing a path with his fingertip until it lands right above his head. And he still gives the same answer: “Mm, got it. Let me eat first.” They don’t know he’s the last person to walk out of “that place” alive. And they know even less that he chose to live in the side hall not because he had nowhere else to go. It’s because he thinks the other parts of the Heavenly Master’s Mansion are too noisy.