Great Tang: Starting by Giving Little Sizi AD Calcium Milk

There’s a rusty iron gate in the backyard of Ji Xian’s farmstay, and it turns out to lead straight to the Tang Dynasty’s imperial garden! One day, the three-year-old toddler Xiao Sizi squeezes through. “Big brudder, this water tastes so good!” Watching Xiao Sizi guzzle down AD Calcium Milk, Ji Xian casually bluffs, “This is heavenly nectar from the ninth heaven. It’ll keep you safe from every illness!” [Ding! The Tang Dynasty’s beloved girl believes it wholeheartedly. AD Calcium Milk has been transformed into “Immortal Marrow-Cleansing Dew”!] From then on, the Tang Dynasty’s whole way of life goes completely off the rails. Xiao Sizi pulls out strawberry gummies and cures Empress Zhangsun’s asthma; Li Chengqian rides an electric wheelchair, tearing through the streets of Chang’an; Thirty thousand Turkic troops invade? Xiao Sizi puts on a glowing Ultraman bodysuit, grips a children’s water pistol, and says in her baby voice, “Back off! Or I’ll spray you!” Spritz! A vast flood pours down from the sky, drowning all thirty thousand soldiers! Li Shimin and his entire court kowtow frantically. “We beg the immortal to teach us your magic! The whole Tang Dynasty is willing to ascend to heaven!” Ji Xian gazes at the lighter in his hand, lost in thought. If I say this is the Samadhi True Fire, could Old Li trade the imperial treasury for it?