From the Start, You Put Me in Charge of the Dry Latrine. Now I Earn a Yuan for Every Second I Squat

A silly, feel-good comedy for laughs. This is a tasteless, naughty story, so please don't complain if it's not your thing.

Wen Xiang, a university student village official, passed the civil service exam and returned to his village, where the old village chief assigned him the post of “outhouse manager.” He was about to refuse on principle when he unexpectedly bonded with the [Super Toilet Subsidy System]! Every second someone squatted in his toilet, he received one yuan in cash!

Wen Xiang's eyes lit up. “That's 3,600 yuan an hour! If ten people squat for an hour each day, that's 36,000 yuan!”

To keep people on the toilet for as long as possible, Wen Xiang began some crazed renovations:

He installed top-of-the-line temperature-controlled toilets, offered free chilled watermelons, covered the walls with tablets loaded with unlimited access to Black Myth: Wukong, and even introduced a “foot massage while you squat” service!

The village chief was baffled. “I asked you to manage the toilets, and you turned the village into a viral tourist attraction?”

A megastar influencer with tens of millions of followers: “Guys, who gets it? This toilet's perfect for gaming all the way through. My legs are numb from squatting, and I still don't want to leave!”

A certain billionaire: “Mr. Wen, I'll give you a million. Save me that VIP gold toilet stall tonight. I have a project worth tens of billions to discuss in there. The feng shui is great!”