Demon King Calls for Help: The Tang Monk Wants to Eat Me!

A terrifying legend is told throughout the world of Journey to the West.

There is a monk from Great Tang, eight chi tall, with bulging muscles. He neither chants sutras nor worships Buddha. He has only two things in his eyes: things that can be eaten, and things that can't.

They say he can smash a tiger with one punch. They say a flick of his finger can make the Great Sage kneel. They say Marshal Tianpeng and General Juanlian were beaten so badly for merely looking at him that they spent the night studying The Complete Cookbook.

Demon A: "Your Majesty! This is bad! That Tang Sanzang is coming!"

Demon King B, sweating buckets: "Quick! Stew that ten-thousand-year-old lingzhi in the storeroom and serve it up! Remember, add plenty of cumin! And don't let him take a liking to my tender, youthful flesh!"

The gods and Buddhas throughout the heavens: "You've got the script wrong! We're supposed to arrange tribulations for him, not have him rob us!"

Liu Gang: "Amitabha. I held back half my strength when I threw that punch. Why are you all so scared? Disciples, set up the pot. We're having braised roc tonight!"