Help! The Mad Crown Prince Can Read Minds

On the surface, I'm the most lowly daughter of a disgraced official in the Eastern Palace, frail and helpless. In reality, I'm a future rich woman planning to dig a tunnel and escape, with every intention of keeping a male model. But I never expected that the fiendish Crown Prince could hear my thoughts! When he points his sword at me, I think: [Come on! Let's die together! Before I die, I'll tear your pants right off!] He lowers his sword. (Smirks.) When he throws me into the Cold Palace, I think: [Amazing! This dump is the perfect place to break out of prison!] He assigns eight bodyguards to “protect” me around the clock. (Smiles.) When he leans his face toward mine, I think: [Aaaah! Good looks are my downfall! This jerk is actually pretty handsome...] His ears turn red. (Clears his throat.) Later, the entire Eastern Palace thinks I'm showered with every kind of favor. Only I know the truth: I'm His Highness the Crown Prince's personal, nonstop, twenty-four-hour stand-up comedian. Pei Lin: “What's today's show? Insulting me or keeping a male model? Hurry up, I'm waiting for something to eat with.” Me: (Utterly resigned to my fate.)