I’m Not Stupid, So Why Should I Get Married?

[Synopsis] At the family New Year’s Eve dinner, Hao Qingying announces, “I’m not stupid. Why should I get married?” Her aunts and uncles are up in arms: “A woman’s life isn’t complete without marriage and children!” She fires back with an Excel spreadsheet: “According to the data, the marriage failure rate is 43%, raising a child costs 2.67 million, and my retirement coverage is 120%. So which is the better investment?” In an age when the whole internet is pressuring people to get married, Hao Qingying launches her “clear-eyed life” plan: find a top-tier partner to raise a child with, but absolutely do not get married. Her partner, Zhou Jinyan, is a man with both looks and brains, and he’s been pushed to the brink by marriage pressure too. The two sign a fifty-page Co-Parenting Agreement in a café, with clauses covering everything down to how they’ll resolve disagreements over whether their future child should study arts or sciences. When ideals meet reality: · They use project management software to schedule their prenatal checkups. · When the baby cries at night, the agreement says they’ll take turns soothing them, but one of them always quietly stays up the whole night. · At kindergarten parent meetings, they’re praised as “such young, promising parents,” so they can only smile and nod. Then one day, their child develops a fever, and the two of them stay in the emergency room until the early hours. Zhou Jinyan suddenly asks, “Article 101 of the agreement: if a partner performs exceptionally well, can they apply to… extend the contract?” Hao Qingying looks at the man who remembers even the exact dose of their child’s medicine and, for the first time, thinks: Oh no. My rational life seems to have developed an emotional bug. This is an extreme experiment in marriage, childbearing, and personal freedom.