Siheyuan: From the Start, I Play Pranks, and the Scoundrels Beg Me to Spare Them

The good news: I, Feng Xiaolong, am a seasoned twenty-first-century hoodlum who transmigrated into Love in the Courtyard. The bad news: I became an eighteen-year-old orphan whom everyone in the courtyard can pick on. My belongings have all been stolen, and Jia Zhangshi is blocking my door, cursing me for being a dead-end branch of the family. Luckily, a bizarre System came online just in time. It promised rewards for successfully pranking the courtyard’s nastiest residents. So Jia Zhangshi had barely finished cursing me to be struck by lightning when I flicked a tiny bolt of psychic lightning at her, giving her an instant afro. Yi Zhonghai tried to guilt-trip me, so I made him trip and eat dirt on level ground. Bang Geng came to rob my home? I sent him on a full-day tour of the cesspit! The whole courtyard went crazy. “That menace knows sorcery!” But Wang, the neighborhood office director, clapped me on the shoulder. “Xiaolong, the factory needs a purchasing agent. You’d be perfect.” From then on, I smote the courtyard’s troublemakers with my left hand and traded supplies with my right. Life was sweet. Until one day, I drove back to the courtyard in a sedan, and the troublemakers of old huddled in a corner, trembling. I rolled down the window and gave them a benevolent smile. “Well, are you going to beg for mercy? If not, I’ll keep messing with you.” [In a nutshell] Other people transmigrate and become saints. I transmigrated and became a “walking plague.” But why is it that the more I mess with people, the higher my rank, the more money I make, and the more my wives look like celestial beauties? The troublemakers dropped to their knees and begged for their lives. “Brother Long, please stop using your powers! We’re truly sorry!”