Water Margin: I Faked My Death for Three Years, and Song Jiang Begged Me to Come Out of Retirement

Good news: I've transmigrated, and I'm a big shot at that, Liangshan's chief leader, Chao Gai!

Bad news: I arrived with a deadly poison in my system, and Song Jiang is squeezing out tears as he prepares to arrange my funeral.

Even worse news: My golden finger is the memory of being a game designer, but right now I'm a “dying man” who can't even speak!

And so things start to go very wrong.

Song Jiang wants to seize command of the troops. I struggle through a “last rally” and shove the commander's tally into Lin Chong's hands. Song Jiang: (smile freezes)

Wu Yong wants to impose an economic blockade. I moan “in my sleep” and blurt out where the gold is hidden. Wu Yong: (feather fan snaps)

They bring in a fake miracle doctor, who raises a three-inch poisoned needle to “treat” me. I suddenly cough up blood and shout that the “antidote” is in the enemy camp. Song Jiang and Wu Yong: (completely dumbfounded)

Wait, how did I, a master strategist, end up conquering the world by sending messages in dreams and faking my own death?

(flips the table)

The bandits: “Brother Heavenly King is peerlessly righteous! Even after death, he still manifests to protect us!”

Me: “...I'm not dead! I'm just acting! Could you at least play along?!”