Zhang Qiling, Come Here and Let Your Auntie Cuddle You!

Can someone explain this to me? Can a System really force people into things like this? I was just taking a bath at home when this bandit of a System bound itself to me. Fine, I could live with being bound to it, but it turned out to be a “cuddle up” System, and I could only cuddle up with Zhang Qiling. The worst part was that if I got more than 100 meters away, the System would force us together with a whoosh. Maybe face to face, maybe chest to chest, maybe back to back... In short, anything could happen. Was I supposed to go up to Zhang Qiling and ask, “Zhang Qiling, would you mind cuddling up with me?” Was I insane? Just thinking about Little Brother pulling out his Black Gold Ancient Saber and chopping me up without a word made me feel like a wreck. “If you want cuddles, go find someone else. I'm not doing it.” “Understood, Host Yao Tie Tie. Beginning transfer now.” “Hey!” Great. The System was hard of hearing, and only listened to half of what I said. Damn it, you're the one who's Yao Tie Tie! Your whole family is Yao Tie Tie! Later, the Black Gold Ancient Saber was held against my neck. “What’s your name?” “Yao Tie Tie!” “Taotie?” What the hell? You're the Taotie! Your whole family is the Taotie! Not only was the System hard of hearing, Zhang Qiling was too. And so, from then on... System: Yao Tie Tie! Zhang Qiling: Taotie! Go away! Say that one more time and I'll take your surname! Zhang Qiling: Zhang Taotie. Not bad! Go away! Early on: “Zhang Qiling, would you mind letting me cuddle up with you?” Later: “Zhang Qiling, get over here. Your auntie wants a cuddle!”