The Mayfly Breaks Free

I'm a New Writer. I've Just Written 80,000 Words for the First Time. Could Someone Give It a Review?

I'd like to read something similar to "The Legend of the Dragon King: Misty Clouds Defying Fate". It's the author's first time writing a story that's over 80,000 words, and now they want to work hard toward 400,000, aiming for that kind of length. They're bored at home after just finishing their first semester of college, and their writing style...