The Beast-Filled Siheyuan: I Snatched Lou Xiao'e, and He Panicked

Good news: I, He Yuzhu, have transmigrated and awakened the More Children, More Blessings System!

Bad news: From the start, I’m in a courtyard full of scoundrels, all of whom want me to die without heirs!

All I want is to keep a low profile and have kids, but the System’s rewards are so generous that people can’t help getting jealous!

[Scene One]

Qin Huairu comes by again to borrow white flour, hoping to guilt-trip me.

I simply shut the door and use the System’s top-grade pork belly to make braised pork.

Result: Bang Geng next door drools so much he cries, then climbs the wall in the middle of the night to steal some. I kick him straight into the cesspit.

The whole courtyard is stunned: “Silly Zhu’s changed? He won’t even humor that pretty widow?”

[Scene Two]

First Master Yi Zhonghai calls a neighborhood meeting to criticize me for not respecting my elders.

Right there, I ask him to take me on as an apprentice and teach me how an eighth-grade fitter can avoid dying without heirs.

Result: Yi Zhonghai gets praised so much he can’t get himself out of it. His face turns green, and his retirement plans collapse on the spot.

Everyone is dumbfounded: “Wait, how did Silly Zhu leave the First Master speechless?”

[Scene Three]

Xu Damao mocks me for being an uneducated cook and insults Lou Xiao’e for being barren.

I turn around and sell the news of his secret rendezvous with Qin Jingru to his archenemy at work.

Result: Xu Damao gets caught cheating in public while screening a movie and is sent straight to the workshop for reeducation.

Lou Xiao’e, shocked: “You… how did you do that?”

I shrug, looking innocent: “I’m just a cook. I don’t know anything.”

The whole courtyard of scoundrels: “…He definitely did that on purpose! But we have no proof!”