Doing Good by Helping the Poor: I Hand Out Machetes to Foreigners in North America

I bound myself to a Positive Energy System, and my goal is to become a good neighbor in a North American community. The System says poverty relief has to get to the root of the problem! So I hand out cigarettes and liquor to homeless people to boost their happiness, and machetes to defend their right to control their own supplies. I just wanted to be a good person, until the FBI listed me as the community’s number-one destabilizing threat, and the gangs begged me to stop coming to their turf to “help the poor.”