My Disciple Has Grown Up: Red Lips, White Teeth, and a Spear Like a Dragon

Li Xuanqing is an officially registered Daoist priest at Qingcheng Mountain. He has feminine features and a face so beautiful it defies belief. His master is a useless old fraud who claims to be the reincarnation of a turtle immortal. He teaches Li Xuanqing to cultivate immortality with QR codes and uses a Nokia to capture souls.

Li Xuanqing goes down the mountain with a group of hikers to see the world, only to be mistaken for a girl by a clueless livestreamer, who drags him into the women’s restroom. His social life is over on the spot! Before he can explain that he’s a hundred percent man, a bolt of violet lightning, powered by wishful thinking, strikes him and sends him to another world.

From the start, he’s caught in an assassination attempt. After finally being saved by a bodyguard, the first thing he does upon waking is feel around his crotch. Where’s my mighty yang root?! Then he touches his chest. Ow, that hurts. Why is it swollen?!

May immeasurable Heavenly Worthy bless me! Not only did I end up dead from the start, they took away my hardware, too?! At least I still have my peerless beauty, so it’s not a total loss.

When the distraught head maid is in front of him, he pats her shoulder and calls her "sis." When the empire’s Crown Prince pursues him, he pulls out his privately brewed Erguotou. "You call that stuff you drink liquor? Come on, try this!" After three bowls, the Crown Prince puts an arm around him and declares them sworn brothers, then confesses with deep feeling, "Good brother, I’ve known your secret all along!"

Overjoyed, he thinks he’s found a fellow transmigrator and immediately takes off his chest binder, drinking to his heart’s content. "You should’ve said so sooner! This stupid dress is killing me!"

The Crown Prince stares at the "brother" before him, whose curves are now fully on display, and his nose gushes blood like a waterfall...

From then on, another eccentric guardian immortal appears in the other world. She can use the Dao De Jing to argue the pope into a breakdown, and kick bullying nobles between the legs so hard they become infertile.

When the two-way portal finally stabilizes, exchange students from the magic academy come to Mount Longhu to study the Five Animal Frolics, while modern engineers